The WagonMaster

We're on a break...

2011-10-04T09:02:00.005-06:00

So...I have decided to stop blogging. I've been toying with the idea for several months now, but I was trying to hang on til the end of the year to wrap things up completely. However, the more I thought about it, the more I was ready to just be done. And rather than wait for the end of the year, or even the end of the week, I think now is as good a time as any to call it quits.

I started this blog nearly 4 years ago, in anticipation of my moving to Seattle. I wanted a way to keep my family involved in what I was up to, but mostly I really enjoy writing and this seemed like a good way to do both. For the most part, I have loved blogging! It's fun to get my thoughts out, and to read comments from friends and family. But more and more it's become a drudgery, and I pay way too much attention to how many comments I'm getting rather than why I'm writing at all (And if I read someone else's blog and they have 48 comments and I'm getting 2, then there must be something wrong with me?). The cycle is vicious and not very inspiring!

My life is mostly pretty routine, and to write about bus then work then bus then home just seems lame. Creatively, it feels like I'm running on empty and not coming up with anything new to make my day to day more exciting.

In addition I've decided to cut reading some of the blogs that I currently follow. A lot of my friends keep lovely blogs, and while I love keeping up with their lives, I've found that it does more harm than good for me to read. It's hard enough for me to keep my head above water some days, and reading about funny things their kids say or do, or looking at pictures of exotic trips or cute crafts has become kind of painful. They have what I want! And seeing it spelled out in beautiful photo-shopped photos is not helping me. I totally understand that this is my problem. Totally and completely! But all I have is control over my own life, and barely that, so I feel like it's up to me to limit how much I see of things that make me anxious. So for those of you that used to see comments from me on your blog and aren't any longer, I'm sorry! Know that I love you! But I may have stopped reading...

Phew! That is a lot of explanation! As usual, probably way more than you needed to hear. But I wanted to be honest about why I'm stopping and also not just drop off the face of the earth and leave anyone wondering whether or not I'd blog again.

To the three people that read this blog, thank you! My sister Angie, my niece Maya, and my friend Jen. You have all been so encouraging and I appreciate your support so much! Who knows, maybe all I need is a break and I'll be back next year? We'll see.

So long, farewell

2011-09-22T22:12:00.004-06:00

We had a farewell party today at work for 5 of my co-workers that are leaving tomorrow and next week. It's not unusual to have people leave, nurses are by nature pretty transitory. But these co-workers are all office people - my people. And all of them, except one, have been there longer than 5 years.

For someone that loves change as much as I do, I'm discovering that I don't like it when it isn't my own choice. Its tough to say goodbye to such dear people! I think that from now on, I'd like to be the person moving on...

And these aren't just some random office workers, these are dear sweet friends. One is my previous boss - the lady that hired me. Even when others in the interview weren't sure if I was qualified enough, she was the one that stood up for me and said that she wanted me as her assistant.

Another is a lady that sits next to me in the office. From the very first day I started working there, we've been friends. We found out that we lived in the same apartment complex, and that sealed it from there on. She and I appear to be completely different - she's Russian, has two children, extremely fit and active, etc. I'm not any of those! But the more I've gotten to know her, the more I find things we share. We're both passionate about our beliefs, our family, and take great pride in our work. We're both incredibly sensitive and cry easily - if one of us starts, the other one is a goner! I'll miss her more than I can say. I see so many things in her that I want for myself.

And of course there is my buddy Christine. Sometimes I sit and wonder why someone so cool and gorgeous as her is friends with little old me! A truly beautiful person inside and out, and I think of her as one of my dearest of friends. Its hard to say what she's meant to me, and how much I admire and love her. I've known about her leaving for quite some time, but it hasn't really processed yet. I don't think I'm letting myself contemplate what it will mean to have her out of the office. I'm a cryer, so its probably better if I don't think too hard on it! Luckily she has a cat that needs tending sometimes, and I'm sure we'll still be friends, but still...things will be different.

And it's hard to not start wondering about my own future at this company and when it will be a good time for me to move on. Nothing to report on now, but the topic has definitely been on my mind a lot. When to stay, when to go...bring on some change!

Answer the blasted phone!

2011-09-21T21:22:00.002-06:00

Have you ever tried to make phone contact with 16 women? Let me tell you, it's impossible. No one is ever home. They don't return calls. The messages get lost. The phone is disconnected and out of service. Their voicemail is full. It's insanity!

I'm helping coordinate a dinner at my church for around 300 women, and putting together the menu, price shopping, and picking up ingredients has been a piece of cake compared to trying to contact these people. 16 women signed up to put the main dish together - we supply the ingredients, and even pre-cut the vegetables, all they have to do is put it together and bake it. So I'm trying to make sure that everyone that signed up to do this, is still willing to do it and give them directions on when to pick things up, etc. I've spent the past 5 days, calling, calling, and calling again.

It's two days from now, and I've finally made contact with 13 of my people. Think I'm going to make it? I'm worried it's going to come down to a loaves and the fishes type of miracle to pull this thing off.

...and I'm a Mormon

2011-09-18T15:40:00.003-06:00

Starting in October, my church (officially called The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, but you know us as Mormons) is doing a push of TV advertisements, radio spots, billboards, web ads, etc in Western Washington to educate people about who we are. The media campaign is called "I'm a Mormon" and in church today we learned all about what would be shared.

I was shocked by some of the statistics surrounding our church. Like even though we are the 4th largest church in America, and the fastest growing, around 40% of adults in the United States are not familiar with our beliefs. 44% consider us family oriented. 38% believe we're a cult. 28% think we're secretive. And 9% call us pushy. (Only 9? Guess I've got some work to do! :))

At church they showed us some of the short video clips that were made so we'd know what was being put out there, and talking with people afterwards, the main thing we all thought was that they show just how "normal" we are. I never really considered myself to be abnormal, but I like that the videos show that we're not as weird as people may think!

Here's a video from a guy that lived down the street from me growing up. Who would have thought little Erick Lund would turn out so well?! Actually, I always did....

The main part of the campaign are these short videos done by members of the Church, talking about their life. Their family, their struggles, and what makes them happy. There isn't any preaching, judging or cult-like behavior. Just normal people talking about normal every day things. And, oh yeah, we're Mormons. Because it's hard to talk about how happy we are without sharing the why. And the "why" is the most important! A life of service, introspection, and dedication to God is a happy one. Not absent of trials, but full of direction and purpose when those hard times come. Nothing makes me happier than my membership in this Church, my relationship to God, and being able to tell people about it. It's nice to clear up any weird ideas they have also...

I hope that people see these ads and think that yes, we're normal. But also that they can ask us questions. Do we want them to have this same peace and happiness and be a Mormon too? Yes of course! But the ads aren't pushy, more of a Mormon PSA. I've watched a bunch, and they're well done, sometimes funny sometimes a little emotional, but they're the most honest representation of Mormon people I've seen.

And I should know.... I'm a Mormon.

The Dating Game

2011-09-04T16:28:00.006-06:00

I was talking to someone the other day about some career choices I have ahead of me - just discussing how difficult it is to try and be career minded, when it's not something that I've chosen for myself. Her response took me completely by surprise and I hate to admit, but it's been eating at me ever since.

It didn't start out well, when she didn't talk about my job at all, but went straight to the topic of dating. Oh boy, here we go. She asked if I had tried online dating, and I told her that I was but not having any success there either. And then the topper, "Well are you really trying it? Like are you just glancing at it sort of half-halfheartedly or are you really trying? Really getting on there every day and responding to people? And maybe you need to get out to more activities, so you can meet more people?"

Well, we ended our conversation pretty soon after that. I know it was said out of concern, but this lecture is still bugging me. First of all, I didn't ask for dating advice. Secondly, it's not that easy. Go to an activity, meet someone, get married. Maybe for some people it is, but I've been going to activities for 12 years now and it isn't happening. And last of all, does she know what my options are online? I thought it might be nice to let you all see what I see, and help me make the decision.

Yesterday I got three messages on the dating site that I'm on. Mind you, this is a Mormon dating site, so some of the responses are centered around church things. But here you go:

Bachelor Number One -
Age 48
Divorced
Has 8 children, lives with 0
Lists himself as "very good-looking"
His message to me: "I am not LDS, however I am on this site to find my Twinflame/Soulmate. Let's meet!"

His picture looks like Ralph Fiennes as Voldemort. I'm not kidding! He has a normal nose, but other than that, this is his profile pic:

Bachelor Number Two-
Age 35
Divorced
Has 2 children, lives with 0
Temple Status : "I'd prefer not to say"
His message to me: "I like to laugh until I have stomach cramps, but I don't like other people's drama."

He also uses the word "really" a lot. A lot, a lot. (not a deal breaker, but its a little odd...)

Bachelor Number Three -
Age 78
Do I need to go on?

No kidding, these are real people and real messages. No embellishment needed! All right, so who do I pick? Who do I "really try" to make a match with? You guys pick and I'll go for it. My vote is for TwinFlame, but I'm open to suggestions...

All you need is love - ba, ba, ba ba ba...

2011-08-21T21:43:00.003-06:00

I was lucky enough to have my brother, his wife, and kids visit me this past weekend. I never get to see those kids enough, so it's a treat to have them up this way. The inevitable circus of trying to get 4 kids under the age of 8 to do anything or go anywhere made it difficult to accomplish all that us adults wanted to.

It seemed like the simplest task took hours, and the time slipped away from us much too quickly. I know it's a hassle for Mark and Olya to take the kids anywhere, but I think of my own memories on family vacations and I think it's all worth it. The expense, the tiredness, the moments you just want to strangle those kids... worth it! For me those negative times were forgotten by Elijah telling me he loves me, of the feel of small hands holding mine, and by being smothered with hugs and shouts of "Wisa!" anytime I'd walk in the room (how could you not love that?! No one else is ever that excited to see me!). Worth it.

I had a few quiet moments yesterday with the oldest, Maya, and I asked her what her favorite part of the vacation was. She thought carefully and then said, "Remember when we were playing in the park and we dog-piled on you? Remember how you were laughing so hard?" I loved this answer! We did have fun at that park, and man I did laugh hard when they all piled on top of me. That was one of those moments I'll keep with me. The sound of their voices, their cute little faces beaming, and sweet laughter as we played. That's what it's all about.

I mentioned this story to a friend of mine at church today, and said that after all that was planned, the money spent and the time driving and all that effort, the part she liked the best was when we were laughing together. I casually remarked that really all the kids wanted was some extra love and attention. She listened and laughed along with me, then pausing for a moment said, "It's true for all of us, isn't it? All we're looking for and need is a little love and attention. "

Amen, friend.

Is it worth it?

2011-08-15T07:10:00.000-06:00

My disease has lots of names - Iwantittoo-itis, jealousofyourstuff-pathy, or even sometimes lifeisnotfair-osis. Mostly it's just called greed.

I think it's human nature to want more, covet what your neighbor has, and to just in general not be satisfied with what you have and are. Some people seem to overcome this a little easier than others, but I would bet that we're all touched with it just a smidge. But since I can't do much about what others think and do, I know that for me and myself, we're suffering right now with a severe case of the greeds.

I see my friends laying down hundreds of dollars on new clothes, buying houses, and getting all the new gadgets and technology that I have been ogling. Going out to eat, taking vacations, and spending money seem to come so easily to them. Not a care in the world! Meanwhile, I scrimp and save and work to be able to make it from paycheck to paycheck.

And then my thoughts take over and run wild with it: "Where is the justice? Where is the humanity? Why in the world is life not fair? After all, aren't I working just as hard as they are? Don't I manage my money to the best of my abilities? Then why am I still so stressed about it? Why is money so constantly on my mind?"

These thoughts and more are constantly with me - like a vulture surrounding it's prey, they swarm above my head and occassionally dip down and deliver a harsh peck. You sure need some new clothes - peck! Look at her, she can afford to buy new things whenever she wishes. You're phone contract is up this week, sure would be nice to have that new iphone - peck! Everyone has a touch screen phone except you! If you don't find a new job that makes more money, you'll never go anywhere and be stuck in this dead end job forever - peck! You aren't being compensated for how hard you work. And on and on...until my carcass is pecked to death and I feel exhausted and beaten.

I have been pondering this for a long time, unhappy with how easily I allow myself to get upset, and fighting internally to get some answers and receive peace. And as I was mulling the subject over, a memory came to my mind. I remembered my first paycheck from my current job. I had been out of work for nearly two months, was down to literally my last dollar, and couldn't wait to get a paycheck. So of course, it didn't come. Payday came and went and that check didn't arrive. I was frantic! No food in the house, no money in the bank, and it was Friday so nothing could be done all weekend. Early Monday morning, I called Human Resources and was told they put the wrong address on the check so it was being returned to them. I explained my situation, and I'm sure the worker could hear the desperation in my voice. He offered to cut a new check if I was willing to drive down and pick it up - I was practically in the car before he finished speaking.

I sped down to Renton and picked up my precious first paycheck. I made it all the way back to my car before opening it up, and nearly screamed with excitement over the amount listed. Holy crap! Had they made a mistake?! This was the biggest paycheck I had ever seen. My last job was in Small Town USA, only part time, so to move to a big city and receive a full sized paycheck was startling. I sat in my car and with trembling hands held that coveted paycheck, sending whispered prayers up to heaven in gratitude for such a blessing, and I vowed to never forget it.

And I haven't.

This was the memory that came to mind first while I was searching for answers. This was the feeling that was reminded to me when I felt despair. So I take from that experience the lessons that I need to move forward - First, that I have enough. My needs are taken care of. I have a car (a brand new one even!), I have clothes, I have food. I have a job - who cares if I have to live paycheck to paycheck? At least I have paychecks! It's enough. Second, there will always be someone with more than me. Doesn't make what I have any less, it just means there's a difference. So stop comparing! Let it go. And third, it's probably good to go without sometimes. So what if I take less vacations or have less new clothes in the closet? It hasn't hurt me a bit to save and wait for something that I really want, in fact I'm probably developing that blasted character that I never wanted (kidding, mom). I don't know that it's healthy to constantly have our wants satisfied as fast as we can come up with them. Most of the time, if I put off buying something that I really want, I'll save up and get it later. If it's just a passing fancy, then... it passes.

Of course my struggle is not over. This will probably continue to plague me from time to time, but for now, the vulture is swarming somewhere else and I have peace. I have enough. I am enough.

Afterword: I decided to go for a week without spending a dime and was surprised at how hard it was. Give it a try! It doesn't sound that bad, but I'm talking no lunches out, no quick trip to the grocery for something you forgot, no paying your library dues. It was really interesting, and really difficult!

THE Gardens

2011-08-11T23:11:00.005-06:00

When I look at the gardens at Temple Square - I see politics. I see long, hot days digging dandelions out of the lawn. I see never-ending summer afternoons chasing brides out of the flower beds, and freezing cold winter mornings draping Christmas lights into a subtle and twinkly border.

I am tainted by the memory of a boss that changed my life forever (for good and for bad), not just my life but ME - who I am as a person is altered because of that man. I see all that and more when I look at those gardens, and it blocks me from seeing the beauty that everyone else sees. I still think the gardens are lovely, and I don't mind going there to walk around - but to it just doesn't do it for me horticulturally.

And then... I visited Butchart Gardens. And I got it! Finally, finally, I understand just what in the world people feel when they see those gardens at Temple Square. I felt it too - the fluttery stomach, the dropped jaw, the quick intake of breath. All because of some simple flowers. I get it now, I really do.

Cause when I visited Butchart, I didn't see the politics, the cold mornings, hot afternoons, or itchy uniforms. I'm sure they're there, and I'd love to talk with a gardener!, but I'm not the one attached to it. So for me, Butchart Gardens was one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen. Yeah, it's a bunch of annuals. Yeah, there aren't too many outrageous plants and it was lacking in giant trees, but man it was gorgeous. I couldn't get enough of it! Pictures can never do this place justice, but I'm going to post them anyway. If only to convince you that you need to make the trip up there and visit. Come pick me up on the way! We can talk about Temple Square...

Just call me Taffy

2011-08-10T23:14:00.003-06:00

I'm just getting back from a quick vacation with my folks - a lot of fun, (I'll post more later!) but as always I leave with questions and a touch of sadness. Here's the deal: I'm happy when I'm with my family, and a part of me really wants to move home. But I've been there before and I always get antsy when I'm home and want to be off on my own adventure. So then I leave the safety of my warm family nest, enjoy a few days off by my lonesome, but then feel that old familiar pull to be home! And the process repeats itself.

Am I destined to be unsettled and fidgety forever?!

The thing is, on a day to day basis, I'm pretty happy! Sure I get annoyed and cranky sometimes (I'm not admitting how often) with events and general life stuff, but as I say my prayers at night and I look back over all that's happened that day, I'm okay with my life. In fact, it's pretty darn awesome most of the time.

So why the pull towards and away from home? Life is complicated.

Lazy, crazy, hazy days of summer...

2011-08-03T21:36:00.007-06:00

When it looks like this outside:

There's no other thing to do but grab a blanket, the Skip-bo cards, and head to the park.

For Maya

2011-07-31T16:52:00.008-06:00

This post is for my niece Maya, who asked me yesterday when I was going to blog again. She checks every day and is a little impatient with me.

Maya, sometimes there isn't anything going on to post about! Partly because we have just barely started our summer weather, and partly because I just do normal, boring stuff most of the time. And I don't want to blog about normal, boring stuff.

Okay, so here's what's been happening up here:

Last weekend my friend Ethnie came to visit - we decided to go up to the San Juan islands despite the cooler weather and go to the top of Mount Constitution. It's the highest peak in the islands, and gives an amazing view of all the area around there. I didn't have my camera so I can't post pictures, but trust me, it was amazing. Just google it.

We also went to downtown Seattle and checked out the view from the Smith Tower, which I recommend as a cheap alternative to the over-rated Space Needle. The view was beautiful, albeit very windy.

Who knew that we would find the Wedding Chair at the top of this building as well, where if you sit in it and wish to get married, you're supposed to see that wish fulfilled within a year. Wahoo! If only I'd know that was there, I would have gone years ago! Dust off your dancing shoes Mom, and start planning my wedding!

We also walked down to the Market and bought some flowers and cherries, then sat in the sunshine and people watched for an hour or so.

This weekend my parents are making the trip up here to visit, and I am really, REALLY excited! My dad hasn't visited up here yet since I moved here, so I'm pretty happy to show off all the places that I love, and hopefully introduce him to some new spots he hasn't seen before. We're also going to visit Butchart Gardens, which has been on my to-do list for years. You can't top the family vacation we spent up here back in 1994, but this will be fun too...

(Denim with denim...such a great look!)

And lastly, this summer has been the summer I've taken up running. I have to say first of all, that I am not a runner. I don't like it. I get bored, and usually don't push myself to go that far, which ends up in a really poor workout. So it's not something that I've done in the past. However, this time there are two factors going into my wanting to run some more. First and most important, I set a goal for myself to run a 5k before I turned 30. Well.... I've been thirty for over a year and a half now, and no 5k has been run. That kind of bugs me, so I'm going to do it this year. Seriously.

Also, there's a guy at work that wants to be my trainer and he asks me every day how far I ran or how many minutes I'm at now, and that's been pushing me to run more and more. Last week I finally broke the two mile barrier (stop laughing! I told you I'm not a runner!), and as little as that sounds, it was a huge victory for me!

All week long, James, the guy at work, had asked me to run for 40 minutes. "Come on Lisa, just do it! Are you going to run tonight? How long did you run? 30 minutes? Oh, you're so close, just push it!" And on and on and on he'd go. So finally, just to make him stop asking, I decided to run for 40 minutes. And I did! I ran for over 3 miles that day and was pretty excited to tell him the next day that I'd done it. As hard as it was, and as much as I complained, I have to admit.... it was a huge rush. I got a small glimpse into the adrenaline that runners feel when the run a race or beat their previous record. And as much as it pains me to say, I kind of liked it. So yesterday I decided to run outside, which is way harder for me, and while I didn't get to the same level that I can in a gym, it was still pretty good for me and I was pleased.

Oh, and I'm not going to lie, most of my success was due to these sweet new earbuds I got from REI. They cost more than I've ever paid for earphones, but they stayed in place and were pretty comfortable. And nothing gets my heart racing than running to a little U2 or Weezer.

Okay, Maya, you're all caught up on what I've been up to lately. I'm sending home some cherries for you with grandma and grandpa, so make sure your Papa shares with you. He can be sneaky like that...

The weather, a pie, and a sad announcement

2011-07-18T22:00:00.001-06:00

Seattle has decided to skip summer this year. Sorry everyone! We're going to give you the random nice day in between 48 days of rain, hope that counts as a summer! Seriously, it's mid July and we're still in the mid 60's with overcast skies and rain. It's really not that bad actually, I've never been that much of a hot weather person, I much prefer these cool days. I'm just saying, a few days of sun would be nice as well.

How much summer have we had? Click here to find out!

Of course, after seeing the rest of the nation suffer through drought and high 90 degree days, I'm going to shut my trap and enjoy the coolness!

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This past weekend I got a hankering for a lemon meringue pie. The only ingredient I needed to buy were some fresh lemons, so I picked some up and started baking. I've never made this type of pie before, but I'd heard it wasn't too difficult, so I found a recipe online and gave it a shot. It turned out really good - who knew? The only problem is now I have an entire pie around the house, and it's so light and lemony it feels like I better eat the whole thing in one setting... If anyone is in the area and wants a slice of pie, come on over! Quick!

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And lastly, my sad announcement. I've talked in the past few years about the bereavement camp for kids that my work is a part of, called Camp Erin. It has honestly been the highlights of the past three years, and I'm honored to have been a part of this amazing adventure. This year, I kept getting emails from the leaders wanting to know if I was still going to do it. I kept putting them off and putting them off, not really knowing why, but knowing that I didn't feel good about going. Then I realized why - my own grief is still so new, I'm afraid to go to this camp. I know they do grief activities there, and I know that this weekend is supposed to be all about the kids, and I'm afraid if I go and get caught up in that atmosphere and thinking about my grandma and grandpa and cousin, I'll just be a mess.

So for the first time since I moved to Seattle, I turned them down. It was a very difficult decision, and one that I wrestled with for a long time. It's not in my nature to give up, and saying no to something that has brought me so much joy was even more difficult. But I came to realize that if I were to go this year, it would be for purely selfish reasons. And Camp Erin is, above all, about the children. You need to be there at 100%, ready to help them, watching for hidden clues to their moods and how the activities are affecting them. If I were to go and be busy dealing with my own grief and not able to help my kids, then what's the purpose for me to go?

I tried explaining this to my mom, I'm not sure she got it, and I hung up feeling a little shamed. Like I should be able to handle this better, and why aren't I stronger, and all those hurtful feelings. But the truth is, that I am still grieving. That I miss my grandma especially, and that I have to deal with these feelings in my own way and not by anyone else's timetable. My mother and her sisters are slowly going through grandma's things - spending Saturday after Saturday together, sorting and reminiscing, and crying together. This is their grief process, even if they don't realize that's what it is, and in many ways I'm jealous that they have each other to share the load.

I deal with my grief as it comes, and go about each day as normally as I can. I think about grandma when I eat a handful of skittles, and smile when I see a beautiful flower bed that reminds me of her, or talk with someone on the phone with her voice. I helped two daughters today at work that were in that agonizing stage of "do I or don't I put my mother on hospice?", and thought of her again. She's everywhere around me, and that's both agonizing and comforting.

Bottom line is, I'm not ready for camp. I don't know what next year will bring, but for now, I can't do it. I wanted to post that decision here and hope to explain the why's so I don't have to talk to each of you individually when you wonder why I didn't attend this year.

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All in all, life is wonderful. I have sad days and happy days, and life goes on. I enjoy the rain and gray skies, eat pie, and think of my family every day. And that, in a nutshell, is my life. Rain, pie, and family.

Becoming my mother

2011-07-13T21:01:00.004-06:00

I was talking to my sister on the phone today, complaining about how no one ever understands how easy it is to keep your house clean. I mean, all you have to do is pick it up a little bit every day, then it never gets too overwhelming! No sooner had the words left my mouth then I realized:

I have become my mother.

It was a slow transition, but I'm there. I don't know how many times I've heard her say that exact phrase. At least 3 million times during my growing up years, right? Maybe more? I couldn't understand her frustration. She would pick up all our stuff, then leave it in a pile for us to take up the stairs (or down, depending on which level of the house you lived on) when we went next. For days those piles would sit there. We'd add things to it. We would skip multiple stairs to jump over them. Anything but pick those stupid piles of clothing, books, cassette tapes (Hey, I'm old! Come on.) and put everything away.

Finally we'd be given the ultimatum. Pick up those piles and put them away, and no dinner until it's done. So I'd huff and puff and attempt to carry everything in one load up the stairs, only to unceremoniously dump it on the bed and run back down for supper. Yeah, I was a pretty picked on child.

If only I'd known then what I know now. If you take stuff every single day and put it away, there's never that overwhelming pile. A little bit of housework every day, and it never gets to be too much to handle.

Oh man, I'm my mother. Somebody stop me before I start saying "many hands make light work".

Love you mom!

That old black magic

2011-07-10T18:10:00.005-06:00

There's a spring in everyone's step, and a smile on their face... yep, it's summer in Seattle. It's like when you were little and your parents told you if you would work and save for something it would mean more. Seattle-ites save up for 9-10 months of the year in order to enjoy their summer-time, so it means a whole lot to us when it finally comes!

I've never experienced anything like summer in the Northwest, it truly is magical. Of course, it helps that the temperature is rarely above 90 degrees, actually we've yet to hit above 80, but still....summer is something else here.

Yesterday, my friend Amy and I went up to Mukilteo beach and ate our lunch - just enjoying the sunshine and the sound of the ocean hitting the rocks. It was pretty busy all over the beach, but we didn't mind. Just the feel of the sun on my back and I could feel all the stress from the previous week float away on the breeze.

I'm listening...

2011-07-08T10:35:00.003-06:00

I woke up angry on Wednesday. I don't know why, but from the time my alarm went off to nearly 8 o'clock that night I felt cranky. Everything annoyed me: co-workers, roommate, strangers, even family. And when I met some friends for Pho that night and I was still cranky afterwards I thought, this has got to stop! Slowly, ever so slowly, my mood lightened until I was able to actually talk in a kind manner again before going to bed. But man, what a tough day that was.

Last night I went visiting with an elderly lady in my church to another woman we both know. The two of them talked, talked, talked, talked, talked. And I sat there like a bump on a log, waiting for the chance to say something, be asked something, or to feel like there was a reason I was there at all. The chance never came so we left and I went home with a lot on my mind and words that needed to come out!

My roommate Amy and I talked over these two events last night, and I asked her if she could just listen for a few minutes while I got everything off my chest. I told her I didn't need a response, she could even zone out if she wanted to, but that I had things to say that needed to be said! Amy was gracious and allowed me my ramblings, even going so far as to listen and talk with me a little about why I was feeling so frustrated. We came to two conclusions:

1)The phrase "How was your day?" is not a great question. Think about it: my day is typically all over the place. It's frustrating, and busy, and happy, and exciting, and boring, and sleepy, and a million other things. So giving a one word response, which is what everyone wants, is difficult for me. Yet I realize that not everyone wants to hear a long convoluted story when they ask that question, so I answer "fine" just like I'm supposed to. I end up frustrated, no one knows why, so I stuff those feelings inside and keep moving on, hoping they'll go away. Then days like Wednesday happen...We've decided that there should be a better question to ask besides "how was your day", but neither of us could come up with a good one. We did have several funny suggestions, but I don't think going up to someone and asking "how do you feel your day is going so far?" is really going to catch on...

2)Everyone needs to feel like they're being heard. I've found myself getting frustrated lately because it feels like no one listens to me. When I meet new people at church it's usually a one sided question and answer session, consisting of me asking questions and then listening to their answers. Very rarely does it turn into an actual conversation where we both talk evenly and are equally interested in what the other has to say.

We all need that chance to tell our story, to have our feelings validated, and to sense that the other person thinks you are important. I recognize that not every conversation is going to leave you feeling this way, but it has felt especially tough lately to feel like I matter at all. Especially after last night, when I sat there for an entire hour without having one chance to say anything, I'm just feeling a little....faded.

Amy and I decided that I need to come up with quick stories to tell so when people ask me, "how are you?" I can hurry and tell them a bit of my day. We even practiced:

Amy: Hi Lisa! How are you?
Me: I'm fine, but today was a little frustrating because we were really busy at work and I just wanted to get home and put on my pajama's, but it took me an hour to get home and there wasn't an accident or anything, not to mention it was cool and rainy today and I needed the sun! How are you?
Amy: Uh....

I think we're onto something here!

My Affinity

2011-06-27T22:33:00.007-06:00

I wanted to post a little something for my sister in law, Olya's birthday today. She's the wife of my brother, the mother to my beloved nieces and nephew, and an important part and lively addition to our family.

I've never been crazy about the phrase "in-law", it sounds so stuffy and distant. Isn't there something else we can come up with? She is my relation, via affinity. Yeah, that's probably not going to catch on...

Anyway, I often think about what it must be like for Olya when she first moved here and married my brother. With English not being her native tongue, she moves to a strange country far from her family and all that is familiar and is thrown in with a family that quotes movies at rapid pace, and is so quirky and...different! It must have been so overwhelming, I really marvel that she stuck it out with us. The power of love and being a newlywed I suppose.

Olya is deep colors. In both her personality and her tastes in fabric and yarn, she is a deep, vibrant color. I love that about her. I love that she is so passionate, and everything she does, she does it with gusto. To know Olya, is to know that she is a mother through and through. I've never met anyone that loves babies as much as she does. And I am amazed at how she is constantly looking for, reading about, and trying new things for her little ones.

I tried to find a good picture of you that wasn't from your wedding, and found this gem. I think I had just gotten this computer and we were playing with Photobooth.
There are so many things I love about this picture - can we just talk about you and Maya having matching smiles? Plus I love the look on your face as you gaze at Elijah in the background. Plus, Maya's hair - adorable.

Olya, I know we don't say it often enough, but we're grateful you're in our family. Thank you for challenging us, for taking our pictures and making us look good, and for making me laugh. Thank you for putting up with endless PeeWee quotes, our resistance to new and different things, and for coming up to visit me - that was a blast.

Oh, and here's a bonus photo from that same photoshoot with Maya - love the closeup of her eye!

Primary Lessons

2011-06-26T12:31:00.000-06:00

There's a song from the Children's Songbook I used to sing in Primary that's been running through my mind lately. The lyrics are pretty simple, just 4 lines, but it's the text that has me thinking:

Jesus said love everyone,
Treat them kindly, too.
When your heart is full of love,
Others will love you.

Not exactly a new concept, is it? Since I was a small child I've been told to share, to play nicely, and to treat others like I'd like to be treated.

From such a simple and basic principle comes much consternation.

I've found myself completely lacking in the kindness department lately. My temper has been short and ready to fire at the first unsuspecting person that crosses me. I get frustrated easily with co-workers, roommates, family members, my fellow church goers, and even perfect strangers that stand too close in the grocery line, or drive too slow in the fast lane.

I'm like the walking epitome of that quote from the movie You've Got Mail. "Do you ever feel you've become the worst version of yourself? That a Pandora's box of all the secret, hateful parts - your arrogance, your spite, your condescension - has sprung open? Someone upsets you and instead of smiling and walking away, you zing them? Hello, it's Mr Nasty..."

Patience is clearly not one of my virtues, but I've felt lately like it's not even a possibility.

We're counseled to "love thy neighbor as thyself", and I think of how many times I've read these words. How many MILLIONS of times I've recited this scripture and many like it that exhort us to love each other. God begs us to take care of each other, to be thankful for each other, and most of all to love each other as much as we love ourselves. What an amazing thing to be asked, and what a tall order that is. Because as hard as I am on myself, and I can be pretty brutal, I still love myself. I still pray and ask for mercy for my own weaknesses, and I still figure that God does excuse them in the end. I have good intentions, right? Doesn't that buy me a pass?

To actually love others and to allow them that same leniency as I do for myself is my ultimate goal. To not just tolerate, but to accept. I want to love others, faults and all, and hope that they'll love me back, faults and all.

One of my favorite speakers and Apostles, is Joseph B. Wirthlin. Whenever I hear him speak, I can feel his love for those he's addressing. I come back to his talks time and again, and I think he had that unique gift to just love people and to let them feel that love. I read through one of his talks this morning called The Great Commandment, where he talks about loving one another and the power of that love.

There are so many quotes from that talk I could share, but I particularly love that he says, "Love is the beginning, the middle, and the end of the pathway of discipleship. It comforts, counsels, cures, and consoles. It leads us through valleys of darkness and through the veil of death. In the end love leads us to the glory and grandeur of eternal life."

This love that he speaks of is something I crave to develop. I hate feeling annoyed and short-tempered with people around me. It really doesn't make for a pleasant day, and I'm sure no one likes to be with me when I'm lacking patience and reacting harshly. I wish that I had that love that "comforts, counsels, cures, and consoles".

I've been learning about love and kindness and patience since I was young, but I still have work to do. Funny how all those lessons we learned in Primary never really go away...

Saturday snapshots

2011-06-25T21:49:00.004-06:00

About a month ago, I realized that I don't take very many pictures. Sometimes full months go by between a shot, that just seems pathetic! But then what is it that I'm supposed to take pictures of? Me standing there waiting for the bus? Sitting at my desk? Watching TV? The more I thought about it though, the more I thought, well why not? So I started taking pictures, just with my phone, of random things that I'd see every day.

The funny thing was, once I started looking around for picture opportunities, I realized just how cool my life really is. There's beauty all around me, I just needed to start looking! So I thought I would share some each week, just to give you a glimpse of what I see and do. And how boring it really isn't!

Here's a few shots from this week:

The new car!

Day at the Seattle Temple

Reading the headlines - Go Sounders!

Cool graffiti in the alleyway

A finch outside my window at work - they're building a nest in the light

Tuesday

2011-06-21T22:29:00.005-06:00

I don't really have a theme for this post. I like to call it "Tuesday". Just a typical day, full of typical mundane thoughts. Here is my Tuesday:

It was sunny today - that was fun. I've noticed that these Northwest girls love their skirts and dresses. Anytime the weather is sunny or over 60 degrees, it's like skirt mania here. And I have to admit, I'm catching on to the trend. Something so free and summery about a light skirt!

On my lunch break I saw a guy walking around in swim trunks and no shirt on. It may have been 65 degrees - tops. Really guy? You're really going to walk around like this is beach weather? Funny thing is, on my way to the bus stop that afternoon, the park I passed by was packed full of sunbathers! I think we topped out at around 70 today.

It's really not that warm. I met some friends out for dinner tonight and we requested to sit out on the patio. The sun was shining, the tables were right on the waterfront, it seemed like the perfect time to enjoy the outside. Well...I shivered for an hour and a half, then ran to the car and turned on the heater. Yeah, we may have been a little premature for eating alfresco without a jacket!

I've decided that chivalry is dead when it comes to getting a seat on the bus. I have seen guys give up their seats for elderly riders before, but usually it's dog eat dog for whatever seat is available. Today was no exclusion, and I got to stand on the ride home. Sometimes I mind this, other days it's not so bad. Today was not so bad, as I got the space next to the back door and could peek into the cars we were passing. You'd be amazed how many people are texting in stop and go traffic - it's actually a little frightening! I saw a girl reading, one putting on makeup, a guy picking his nose pretty good, and I waved at some kids in the back seat. One car was full up to the ceiling with garbage, just a little space carved out for the driver to sit in. The rest was fast food containers, Kleenex, and other assorted trash. That was pretty disgusting.

Even though I get to ride the double-decker bus pretty much every day, I still really enjoy it. There's something about it that makes me feel like a little kid, and I get that glint in my eye that makes me think of my nephew Elijah on his first ferry ride. I try to play it cool, but you just can't beat a new bus with such great views. Like this:

And finally, I bought new pajama pants today. What is it about new pajama's that makes me so happy? I don't know. But I love having new pajama's. Ooh, and bath towels. And sheets!

Now aren't you glad I shared all that with you? I'd hate to have any of that not written down for posterity. That's life!

An interview for Dad

2011-06-18T22:07:00.001-06:00

In honor of Father's Day, and because my dad will not allow us to buy him presents, I give you my interview about my dad:

1. His funny and not-so-funny jokes:
My dad is hilarious. He's not so much a punchline joke type of guy, more of a make up a song as he goes, whistling pete, teasing type of guy. I'll admit, I have always thought he was funny, even when he was an embarrassment. Imagine being 13 years old and having friends over and your dad comes singing some song he's made up about you having smelly socks or crying in a corner. Total embarrassment! Secretly, I loved it. Outwardly, I wanted to die.

2. Something he did for you as a kid, which you've realized now was really special:
He took us on family vacations, every single year. My dad was only 33 years old when he and my mom had 5 young kids. 33! And he only finished school a few months before the last child was born, so we were not exactly growing up wealthy. And yet, he and my mom always managed a family vacation. The sound of the van being packed the night before we left, hours spent in the car playing road games and listening to tapes, swimming in a hotel pool - they're all some of my most cherished memories now. And I think of what a sacrifice that must have been to them and am even more grateful they took the time to do that for us.

3. Things he does that bug you, but you know he does it out of love:
My dad still gets bugged by how emotional I am, which in turn bugs me. Seriously, I'm 31 - he should be used to it. I think he just wants me to be a well adjusted human in the world, and he figures that no person that cries that much will be able to function. But I can! And I never cry as much in real life as I do when I come home. Or call home. Or think about home.... okay, he may have a point.

4. Best vacation you've been on with him:
Like I said, we took a lot of vacations as a family. However, there has only been one trip that was just me and my dad. When I was ending my internship in Kentucky, dad flew out to Louisville and drove back home with me. We had a blast! I loved being able to show him all my favorite people and places in Kentucky, and the ride home was a lot of fun too. He had brought out music, and this was the first time I ever knew that he liked country. Surprise! We listened to tons of music and conference talks, ate licorice to our hearts content, and I was so grateful he smushed himself into my little car for that long trip.

5. Things you wouldn't change about him:
There's nothing I would change! My dad is an unselfish person, but especially when it comes to his kids. When my car broke down in college, he drove an hour and a half to jump the battery. When I decided to move to Seattle, he knew I was stressed about the cost of moving and asked me what I needed. When I hesitated, he said, "I'm not asking you what you want, but I want to know what it would take to make things easier for you." I told him an amount and he gave me double that in cash.

6. The best thing he cooks:
There are legends told about a peach pie he baked, back in 1985. We haven't seen another pie made since that time, probably because there's no way he can top the myth that that pie has become. Honestly though, I think my dad makes the best waffles. And that's something he makes more frequently, so it should count for more.

7. What quality you would like most to have of his:
His level-headedness. I think my sisters and I got all the emotion in the family, we're all bawl-babies. Not my dad. He is full of common sense, good judgment, and goal setting. Why in the world didn't I get that gift?

8. A favorite memory you have with him:
I'm extremely spoiled, in that I have lots of memories with my dad. Even with having a big family, my parents tried to give us one on one time. I love that they did that! But one of my favorite memories with my dad is simply all the times that we went to Borders together to look at books. Our shopping style there is similar: we walk in, separate for a while to look at books, listen to music, or browse the movie section, then find each other and buy something we've come across. Even though we didn't really spend a lot of that time together, it felt like we were together. (Does that make sense?) Just because we knew the other person was content where they were and we browsed at the same speed. I love those memories.

9. Something he did to make you feel special:
This will sound silly, but I always liked that he would check the oil in my car before I would drive home. I knew that he wouldn't ever outwardly say that he was worried about me or that he wanted me to be safe, but every time I saw him check that oil - it just spoke volumes. Whether he meant to or not! I know that he loves me, and this is his way of taking care of me.

10. The best advice he's ever given you:
Oh man, this one is tough. He's full of one liners and bits of advice, whether you ask for it or not! I think something he said that I fall back on a lot right now is that "it never hurts to apply". Whenever I think of a job or a position that I might want, I think of those words and I go for it. Dad always told me that if you want something you have to apply for it first of all, and there isn't any decision to be made until you try, and if you are offered something. Because of this, I think I've gone for a lot more than I would have on my own.

I had to edit this post a lot, just like I did with my interview for mom. Honestly, my parents are the biggest blessing in my life and I thank God every day for them and for my family.

Dad, thanks for being making me laugh, making me try harder, and making it impossible to find anyone to live up to you. I love you!

Statistics

2011-06-15T17:05:00.003-06:00

Did you know that the average woman riding the bus carries around 4.5 bags? And that the average man carries around 0.5? Okay, these stats are totally made up, but if you've ridden the bus lately you'll see that I'm not that far off. I hate to have women sit next to me on the bus cause I know they're going to be balancing a purse, a lunch bag, an umbrella, an extra pair of shoes, and a bowl of something for a potluck later. They've got their ipod playing and they're talking on the phone and once they sit next to you and spread out they'll start putting on their makeup; ocassionally jabbing you in the arm with their outstretched elbow.

A man, on the other hand, will walk onto the bus with his wallet.

Okay, to be fair sometimes I see men with their laptop bag. And at the very worst, the men will set up their laptop and try to mimic their office space by putting out speakers, routers, extendable keyboards, and ask you to hold the printer on your lap. But really, that seemed like a reasonable request!

Seriously though, I would love to be a man riding the bus. I would love to walk on with nothing in my arms, just a bus pass in my pocket and some cash for lunch. Instead I'm one of those women. I'm trying to hold enough equipment to get me through the day with multiple outfit changes and three square meals. I'm listening to music and napping on their shoulder.

And I bet somewhere out there, someone shudders when I walk on the bus and they avoid eye contact and hope I won't sit next to them and sleep on their shoulder. Sorry bus people, I'm one of them!

The frightening tale of Jean Valjean and the Escape from Toyota

2011-06-12T21:23:00.007-06:00

I was finishing up at the grocery store on Saturday and the checker asked the customary questions, how is my day going, find everything all right, etc. Then she asked if I did anything fun that day...and I smiled and said oh, not really. It seemed a little braggy to say, well I bought a car this morning, but no big deal...

Seriously though, buying a car is a BIG DEAL! And buying it all by myself was even bigger. I've had cars in my name before, even negotiated getting a car from Utah to Washington and dealing with all the taxes and mess associated with that, but I've never actually gone to a dealership by myself. I kept thinking, am I old enough to do this? I built it up in my mind as such a process that by the time I actually went to the dealership, I was way nervous. But after all that, it was... well, awful.

I've been wanting an upgrade on the car situation for a while, but I've been working really hard to pay off my debt first, plus I was a little nervous about the additional monthly cost and wanted to make sure I could swing it. Finally, the conditions were all set. My credit cards got paid off, no family members were passing away so the costly traveling sessions were over, and the lovely "Check Engine" light had turned off for over a week - it wouldn't get better than this.

So my roommate Amy and I ventured out on Friday night to the Toyota dealership - I had narrowed them down as the frontrunner in my search. Nearly three hours later we finally left that place, feeling as anxious and beaten down as if we'd played dodgeball with 14 overactive teenage boys. In a way, I guess we did.... They tried every trick in the book: flattery, finding common interests (faking it probably), the solitude treatment, even fear.

By the time I left I was nearly convinced that I was being irresponsible and putting my life in danger by continuing to drive my old car. They were ruthless. I finally agreed to take one of their cars overnight and return it the next day just to get us out of there. (Only later did I realize this was another plan of theirs to get me in the shop again.) I got home and paced up and down trying to expel the extra energy, but it took me a long time and over two episodes of Parks and Recreation to eventually calm down.

Finally I called my dad, the I-Ching of calm wisdom and advice, to talk me down from the ledge and speak sense. He assured me that their tactics were normal and not some evil plot to destroy my self-esteem, and gave me some tips for the next time I looked into car buying. Simple things like calling ahead - Genius!

The next day I had to return the blasted Toyota. It took a while, but I finally made it out feeling a little like Jean Valjean escaping from the clutches of the evil Javert. FREEDOM!!! Never, ever to return to that dealer...

Earlier that morning I had made a call to the Hyundai dealership and got as much info over the phone as they could give me. I told the guy about my horrible experience and was as tough as I can possibly be (stop snickering), and he promised to get an evaluation done on Brutus in just a half an hour, so I stopped in there to see him.

True to his word, he nearly ran around the dealership, gathering information and ordering people to take my car for a test drive and doing all he could to speed up the process. He really bent over backward to make sure things went smoothly. The evaluation on my car went pretty well, but they didn't offer as much as I wanted so I told them I needed to leave. Two hours later I did... in my brand new car. At the price that I wanted, and after trading in Brutus for a fair price as well.

No name on the new car yet, but what a learning experience that was for me. One, that I never want to do it again. And two, don't take a dealers car overnight; you'll just have to return it in the morning.

Stray observations:

I knew that Hyundai was a Korean company, but I didn't expect everyone in there to be Korean! There are tons of Korean and Vietnamese people in the city I live in, so that makes more sense, but it was still disconcerting to be the very obvious minority. It felt like my blond hair was glowing like a beacon.

The salesperson that was going through my new car with me, showing me how every button worked (and I mean EVERY BUTTON), when he got to the part with the radio he asked what kind of music I listened to. I told him I liked everything. He said, "Country?" and I told him "Sure, that's fine." He smiled and said, "Yeah I thought so. You look like you listen to country music... " What? I'm a white girl from Utah, so naturally I like country? This Korean man just made a hilarious racist comment to me and I couldn't be more thrilled.

There's nothing more nerve racking than a new car. Every other car is now the enemy, every tree the destroyer of its perfect cleanliness. I can't park next to anyone cause I'm sure they're going to ding the car, and all motivation to take the bus is gone. Plus what if something happened to it while I was at work? I'm a nervous wreck.

I tried to take a picture of me with the new car but every time it ended up looking like I belonged on a calendar. Not in a sleazy way, but like I was trying to sell it or something. So you may just want to google it if you need to know what an Elantra looks like.

New cars smell fantastic.

Let's get funky

2011-06-06T21:17:00.004-06:00

I haven't posted in a while. Actually... I haven't done a lot of things in a while! Truth is, I've been in a bit of a funk. I know I'm still working through my grief and it's been a tough year so far, but I didn't expect to be down for so long! I'm a naturally happy person, and feeling so blah and sad just isn't my style. But, I'm working through it. I'm doing better and I'm ready to start blogging again!

And there isn't any better place to start by sharing news that's been 9 months in the making...

We hit 75 degrees!!!!

Now what did you think I was going to announce? :)

Seriously, it has been 9 long months since Seattle saw temperatures over 70 degrees, and finally, FINALLY, this weekend it happened. We only get 3 months a year of sunny weather, and every year I wonder why in the world I stick it out up here for those few lowly months. Then the sky turns blue, everything is green and lush and the air smells like heaven and I remember...

And slowly, I feel myself lightening up and smiling again.

Jean Mary, Jean Mary, how does your garden grow?

2011-05-10T21:41:00.000-06:00

My sweet Grandma passed away this morning. This is the third death in my family in the past 5 months, and my feelings are so raw and real right now, I'm afraid this post will be a little scattered and long. But I want to honor my grandma and let her know how much she has meant to me. Luckily, the last words I ever spoke to her were "I love you", followed by a hug and kiss, so I know that she knew I loved her. But I'd like to tell her goodbye, if I can.

Other than my parents, my grandma Braegger has been the biggest influence on my life. She is who I aspire to be, in every sense. Any virtue you would like to have, she has it in abundance. Kindness, patience, integrity? Yep, got 'em. Charity, generosity, forgiveness? Check, check, check. Even the tough virtues, like grace, acceptance and benevolence? Yep, those too.

Whenever I think of my grandma, grace is the first word that has always come to mind. Grace is "elegance or beauty of form, manner, motion, or action." - if that's not her, than I don't know what is.

Yes she was beautiful on the outside, just check out these gorgeous photos of her I'm posting. I sure wish I had gotten more of those genes! But her true beauty shone from the inside out, making her even more beautiful in my eyes. Never an unkind word, always a compliment. She couldn't hold a grudge, she forgave quickly. And talk about happy, she was always so cheerful, up to her very last days when she couldn't even speak, she could still smile. That is an amazing gift.

She thought the best of me, more than any other person, probably even including my parents. I think she didn't imagine that I could do any wrong, and I always wanted to live up to that in her eyes.

Any conversation about marriage or dating and I left feeling buoyed up and happy, how did she do that? I couldn't get that from anyone else. Her absolute love and trust in me still amazes me. The beautiful thing about grandma is that I think I can speak for every one of my cousins. I'm positive she made all of us feel that exact same way; safe, loved, and treasured. We all know that she loved us and thought the world of us, and I'm pretty sure we all secretly think that WE are her favorite...

Grandma's pride and joy was her family. She loved her husband with a devotion that I've rarely seen. Their marriage was the ideal, they still seemed completely in love after over 40 years together. You can't talk about Jean without mentioning Del, they were each others everything, and the one comfort we have right now is that they are at last together again. What a beautiful reunion that must have been!

After losing her only son in a plane accident, grandma doted even more on her remaining 4 girls. I think they had always been close, but this brought them even closer together as a family. After grandpa died, this relationship grew closer still as they leaned on each other for support and comfort. And then as grandma grew older and more frail, those same girls cared for her and they grew closer again.

I had the extreme pleasure to live with my grandparents when I was 15 years old, along with my older sister. We were living there when my grandpa suddenly passed away, and stayed several more months to help my grandma with the transition. Even after I moved back home, Angie and I went and slept over at grandma's house every Saturday night. We'd watch Mr. Bean together and eat popcorn, and just enjoy one another's company. I'm so grateful for that time we had, it was so much fun! We grew to be more than relatives, but very dear friends and that time is a priceless memory now.

I could talk for days about all the memories I have with grandma; every concert she attended, sleepovers spent at her house, and hug and kiss are ingrained in my memory and provide comfort at this difficult time. I hope one day to see her and tell her again just what she has meant to me. I hope to be a little bit more like her by then and to have just an ounce of her sweetness and grace. Until that day, grandma, I love you. Thank you for showing me what it is to be a woman of God.

Come What May, and Love It

2011-05-08T23:04:00.001-06:00

The past couple of weeks there has been a phrase running through my mind. It's from one of my all time favorite talks called Come What May, and Love it, by Elder Joseph B Wirthlin. The phrase I kept reciting says "...the dial on the wheel of sorrow eventually points to each of us. At one time or another, everyone must experience sorrow. No one is exempt."

Every day I talk to people who have that dial pointing to them. They face great sorrow in their lives as they contemplate the loved one in their life that is close to dying. In a recent job interview I was asked how I demonstrate compassion in my job, and I was quick to point out how I use that every day in my interactions on the phone.

I've talked with adults who are looking for help for their elderly parents, and we cry together as we talk about the changes they are seeing in their once strong father, or how their mother has become completely dependent on them. I sympathize with these people so much and can't help but become a little emotional as we talk together. I'm lucky to be able to offer them help and let them know that what they're feeling is normal. Most the time, they just need me to listen, and I'm happy to do that for them. I know they have a long road ahead of them, but just for a moment I can tell that their load is lighter and they feel relief.

I've talked with spouses who are looking for care for their husband or wife. They usually tell me funny stories and talk about all the things they're doing for the first time since it was usually something their spouse did for them. Men buying their own sheets, women putting gas in the car, it's a new experience for all of them. I hear my grandparents voices in all these calls and I imagine myself their grandchild and try to take the best care of them I can.

Unfortunately, there are also those calls from parents who have children with a life limiting disease. It breaks my heart to receive these calls - to see the birthdates and realize how young that child is and imagine how devastated the family must be. I quietly suggest help for the remaining siblings, and pray that these families can find the support they need.

Death is the one great equalizer, the one time when we all come together and can share and relate to each other in a very personal way. There is no "head of the line" for the rich and powerful, we see all patients as we can; regardless of race, religion, language, and gender.

The dial on the wheel of sorrow points to all of us, and it can be a difficult and lonely thing. I've come to realize that it really is all about those relationships in our life. You really can't take anything else with you. I've been comforted by my own family as we've come together these past few months and felt a renewed appreciation for each other. I've also felt that the reason I'm able to hurt so deeply is because I've loved so deeply, and I wouldn't trade that for anything. I'm lucky to be so blessed and to have those relationships in my life, no matter how much pain they cause sometimes.

And above all else, aren't these times just building character? Mom?

Maybe Elder Wirthlin says it best:
"How can we love days that are filled with sorrow? We can’t—at least not in the moment. I don’t think my mother was suggesting that we suppress discouragement or deny the reality of pain. I don’t think she was suggesting that we smother unpleasant truths beneath a cloak of pretended happiness. But I do believe that the way we react to adversity can be a major factor in how happy and successful we can be in life.

If we approach adversities wisely, our hardest times can be times of greatest growth, which in turn can lead toward times of greatest happiness.

Learning to endure times of disappointment, suffering, and sorrow is part of our on-the-job training. These experiences, while often difficult to bear at the time, are precisely the kinds of experiences that stretch our understanding, build our character, and increase our compassion for others."

An interview for Mom

2011-05-07T22:13:00.005-06:00

1. Her funny and not-so-funny jokes:
The best thing about this question is that there's one answer for both of these questions. My mom is both funny and awfully unfunny all at the same time. Her joke method of choice? The pun. Lots and lots of puns. We call them "hem jokes" (it's an inside story), but they never cease to make me laugh.

2. Something she did for you as a kid, which you've realized now was really special:
She worked, in and out of the home. At the time I sort of resented that she worked doing inventory and then at the city office. I didn't see that it was necessary and because my friends mothers were at home, I wanted her to be there. It's only recently that I've realized what a sacrifice it was for her, and that she didn't do it because she wanted to be away from home. Quite the opposite actually! I know she feels bad because of that time, but I think it was a good thing for our family. Seeing her work so hard at work and then when she got home; it's something that I really appreciate much more now.

2. Things she does that bug you, but you know she does it out of love:
When I call to cry to my mom about not being married, she always tells me that it will happen, in her words "how could it not?!". While I appreciate the confidence she has in me, sometimes it feels like that brings added pressure! I don't want to disappoint her, and I wish she'd just listen and tell me I'm pretty and it's going to be okay. Bless her heart, she just can't imagine that anyone wouldn't want to marry me! I love her for that.

3. Best vacation you've been on with her:
Hands down, the time she and Denise came and visited me in Seattle. Oh my word, that was so much fun! We laughed and laughed, and I got to show her off to my friends and church, it was a blast! We watched movies, worked on puzzles, did some sight-seeing, and just enjoyed that time together. Please come back!

4. Things you wouldn't change about her:
Um, everything? I love that she gives so much of herself. Maybe it's a mom thing? But my word, she's been so involved with her own mother's care, all the while working, trying to help out with grandkids, keeping up with church responsibilities, supporting my dad in his job and at home, and I know she talks to each of her kids all the time, which has to be a full time job. Sometimes I wish that she would just slow down and take care of herself a little more, but it just wouldn't be her if she did.

5. The best thing she cooks:
Oh man, I love so many things she cooks. Her apple pie, chow mein, and those rolls... But I've always had a special place in my heart for her potato salad. Which is hilarious because it's the most simple salad in the entire world, but there's something about the way she cuts up the pickles and cheese...it's just mom.

6. What quality you would like most to have of hers:
Her patience, without a doubt. I have hardly any patience, and she is unfailingly patient with me. I would have stopped talking to me long ago if I were her, but she still answers the phone when I call, and usually with a "hi sweetie!". It's unbelievable, I wish I had that quality.

7. What she's best known for in the community:
I think if you were to ask around in the community I grew up in, she would best be known for being a Braegger (her maiden name), which is really the greatest compliment you can get. Braegger's are synonymous with service, and it's a name I'm proud to be associated with as well.

8. A favorite memory you have with her:
The first thing that came to mind was when we would watch Perry Mason together and eat grilled cheese sandwiches. I was only in kindergarten at the time, but I remember doing this with her on an almost daily basis. With five kids in the family, it's not often that you get alone time with parents, so this was my time to have her all to myself. I treasure that memory, and still have a fondness for Raymond Burr.

9. Something she did to make you feel special:
My mom came up with this idea to take us out on our birthday for a special lunch at a restaurant - just you and her and dad. Like I said, one on one time was pretty hard to come by, and we hardly ever ate out, so this was an enormous treat. They'd come and get us out of school, take us to any restaurant we'd like, and then usually mom would take you shopping for new clothes. What an awesome idea to make the birthday girl feel like a million bucks!

10. The best advice she's ever given you:
The one thing my mom has always told me, is that hard experiences "build character". If she was a super hero, this would be her catchphrase. I heard it a million times when I was growing up and would come to her crying or disappointed over something that hadn't gone my way. Thing is, it's true. All those times have built my character, and I'm grateful to my mom for helping me see the bigger picture. I remember calling my mom once when I was in college, totally broke and not sure how I was going to make it through. "I guess I'm building character!" I sniffled through my tears and we laughed a little bit. A few days later a package came in the mail with a few things to eat and an envelope with money in it. On the outside of the envelope she had wrote "you don't always have to be building character". I still have the envelope.

I love you mom. Hope your Mother's day is as wonderful as you are!

Free as a bird...

2011-05-01T20:27:00.003-06:00

I've been putting off this post - not because I didn't want to write it, but because I don't know how to put what I'm feeling into words.

I paid off my last credit card on Friday.

How do you put into words what that sentence means to me? It's huge! COLOSSAL!! Huger than huge! Right up there with the Giants winning the pennant and Neil Armstrong walking on the moon.

All right already? You get it? Oh no you don't...

It's like, for the past 10 years I've been carrying this monkey around on my back. Some days the monkey grips me around the neck and I can't breathe, and other days he sits there quietly. But it doesn't matter, because that darn monkey is still there. Even if I can't feel it, or if he's not annoying me, I know it's still there. The monkey determines everything I do; every paycheck, every vacation, every time I need a new pair of shoes, I think about that stupid monkey and how he needs to be fed. That monkey was my debt, and he haunted me day in and day out.

I used to watch TV shows and see how carelessly they would throw money around, it drove me crazy! Oprah would pay off somebody's mortgage, hundreds of thousands of dollars, and I'd sit there and think about the little amount I needed to be free. Where was my rescuer? Why couldn't I find an easy fix to this problem? I hadn't been irresponsible for so long, and yet I continued to pay for those mistakes for years and years!

And then I realized that THAT was my lesson. How could I possibly learn and grow if I didn't pay for my recklessness? We're taught that there is a time for everything and a season for every purpose - and I feel like those years were my time to feel regret. My time to work my hardest to pay back that money, and that while I wouldn't be left alone in my work, it was still my responsibility. It has not been easy, it has not been quick, and it has not been fun at all. But I'm grateful for all those years of hardship.

I'm grateful because I know that I will not go into debt lightly ever again. I won't spend my carefully earned money on things that are not necessary. And I will always remember that I do not need money to be happy. I'll also never forget how it felt to be under such a weight. There's nothing out there that I can buy that is worth that kind of heaviness.

The monkey is off my back, and I feel strangely free without it. I'm not used to this feeling, it's very odd. But I'm happy to be free of him. Good riddance, monkey boy.

My first attempt at Jam

2011-05-01T20:05:00.007-06:00

A couple of weeks ago I volunteered myself to make jam. I don't know why I did it, I've never made jam on my own before, but I wanted to be useful and it just came out. So last weekend I spent the good part of a day trying to put together some freezer jam as a thank-you.

I found a recipe for a mixed berry jam that sounded good, so I gave it a try. Strawberries, raspberries and blueberries all mixed together with a little sugar and pectin - easy, peasy, right? Sure looked beautiful:

I put it altogther in the bottles and was pretty proud of my work. It only took a couple of hours and I love the deep, dark color in the different sized glass bottles.

There was a bottle left over that I kept for myself and it wasn't until yesterday that I tried some. Um, it was...not tasting like jam. I definitely didn't put in enough sugar and it tasted more like mashed berries in a jar. Oops. At that point I thought about redoing the jam, but there really wasn't anything wrong with it and I didn't want to waste the berries. So I decided they would just have to deal with mashed berries instead of jam.

Note to self: taste your food before giving it away.

Anyway, I put together some tags to go around them and was happy with how pretty they look. And as for the taste? Well, it hasn't stopped me from eating it by the spoonful. It's delicious on ice cream....

Photo Challenge: Day 3

2011-04-24T20:01:00.001-06:00

10. A picture of your favorite video game:
I'm a-gonna win!

9. A picture of someone from your favorite sports team:
Steeeeeew! My favorite team? The Aggies of course. And Stew Morrill is the head coach, and a darn good one at that.

8. A picture of your city:
On a good day, there's no finer looking city. Here's Seattle, with Mount Rainier in the background on a sunny summer evening. No, I did not take this picture. I found it on the internet, and I think it must have been photo-shopped, cause I don't remember it ever looking this pink.

7. A picture of your desktop:
Don't you wish you had her sweet face to look at every day? She makes my desktop a joy to look at!

6. A picture of the weather:
You saw the ideal Seattle, now welcome to the reality. "Gray skies, nothing but gray skies..."

5. A picture of you doing something physical:
We may not get snow very often, nor very much, but it doesn't take much to make a snow angel.

4. A picture of you with beautiful scenery:
Wallace Falls. Lisa looking pensive. A sign warning you that it's steep and people can fall off if they're not careful. Classic shot.

3. A picture of something you despise:
I'm sure there's more worthy causes to despite, but honestly the first thing that came to mind was mushrooms.

2. A picture of something you miss:

1. Anything!

The End.

Photo Challenge: Day 2

2011-04-23T19:14:00.002-06:00

20. A picture that your hair looks nice in:

I know this is an odd picture to like, but the back of my hair looks awesome.

19. A picture of you with pets:

Oh Gracie. The best cat we've ever had, she was so sweet. I tried to have my own cat, Tang, but it was a disaster. Guess I better stick to pet rocks.

18. A picture of you hugging someone:

Okay, I'm not exactly hugging Santa here, but it appears to be coming. What's with us gazing at each other like that? Totally bizarre.

17. A picture of you and your best friends:
Love these girls! I miss them every day.

16. A picture of you today:

Oh come on, like you fix your hair on Saturday? And yes, I'm wearing a Mike and Ike t-shirt, thanks for asking...

15. A picture from the last time you went out of town:
Okay, this isn't exactly the last time I went out of town, but I didn't take pictures at my last two trips. So this is from Christmas, skiing with Phil and Stacey.

14. A picture of your favorite movie:

Groundhog Day - hilarious every time.

13. A picture of a celebrity you find attractive:
I like a few celebrities today (hello, David Tennant), but Gene Kelly tops them all. As long as he doesn't try to sing...

12. A picture that means a lot to you but not many people will understand:
Home.

11. A picture of your favorite meme:
Despair.com - it can make me laugh on my worst of days.

Photo Challenge: Day 1

2011-04-22T21:39:00.000-06:00

I love looking at other people's photos, it has to be the best part of blogging. So when my cousin recently posted a 30 day photo challenge on her blog, I was pretty excited to spy on her pictures!

I thought that it would be nice to do the same on my blog, but I knew that I wouldn't post every day. I just don't have the patience! So I decided instead that I'm going to post ten pictures a day, for the next three days. I ought to be able to keep up with that... Enjoy!

30. Your current facebook photo:
Hiking up to Wallace Falls, this is a favorite picture of mine from last September.

29. A picture of yourself a year ago:
A year ago I had a whirlwind trip home to Utah. I drove with some friends and enjoyed some great family time, especially with these two monkeys.

28. A picture that makes you smile:
Oh my gosh, I love these photos. I think Denise was trying to pick me up, but we were laughing so hard all we ever got was one leg. It was one of those days when everything is funny, and these pictures still make me laugh!

27. A photo of your favorite musician/band:
I don't really have one favorite, but this guy sure puts on one heck of a concert...

26. A photo of your Tumblr Crushes:
I don't really use Tumblr, but I'm a big fan of Flickr. Especially this series of photos that show what's in a persons bag. I love the layout, the photography, and seeing all the random stuff in a bag.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/jasontravis/5621983582/in/set-72157603258446753/

25. A Picture of what you ate today:
Oat Bran cereal, yum! Looks like dog food, but tastes delicious.

24. A picture of you when you were little:
One of my favorite pictures! This is me and two of my cousins; cute bunch of towheads!

23. A picture with someone you love:
I miss my grandma every day, especially as we watch her slowly slip away. Still one of my favorite people in the world.

22. A picture of you with friends:

21. A picture of you with family:
The only time we've had a picture taken with all of us in it! Including Ivy, sort of... : )

Part 2, tomorrow....

To all my mothers

2011-04-10T22:30:00.005-06:00

I think there is something about me that brings out the mothering in women. I'm a mom magnet! Could be the sweet way I talk to them, the way I ask about sewing and cooking and other 'mother skills', or maybe I remind them of their own kids. Kids that don't call, come home to visit, or ask them to show them how to knit.

Maybe I just look so pathetically hopeless and helpless that women feel the need to smother me with mom love - I don't know!

All I know is I keep getting offers for people to be my mother, and I'm thinking I'll take them up on it. Tonight I talked with my new visiting teaching companion. She's an older woman whose husband died last year and all her kids live away from home. Within five minutes of our conversation she offered to adopt me, let me come over and watch TV with her any time, and we're going to make cookies next Sunday and get to know each other. I love it!

There's at least a 40 year age difference between us, yet as we talked tonight I knew I had found another "kindred spirit". And not just because we both know what it's like to be lonely, although we talked about that. But I think there are some people that you just connect to, spirit to spirit, and in these cases age does not matter. After a rough week and a so-so Sunday, my conversation with her was like a healing balm.

When I hung up, my thoughts turned immediately to the scripture in Job that says, "the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, blessed be the name of the Lord".

I've been sad this week because I feel so far away from marriage and the family that I want to have. And yes, the Lord has taken or withheld marriage from me for a while, but He has given me so many other good things. Health, a job, good family, and the love of Christ in my life are things that bless me every day. And on top of all that, He has given me multiple "moms" to watch out for and to take care of me when my own mom is far away. I'm so grateful that I'm not completely on my own out here.

I so often forget about those other blessings and focus on my problems, it's a good thing I have a dozen mom's to remind me.

My perfect day

2011-04-05T09:12:00.007-06:00

If I were to script a perfect day, it would not begin with gray skies, wind, and rain for the 428th day in a row. (slight exaggeration)

It wouldn't be one of those days when you burn your neck with a flat iron, your hand with a clothes iron, or poke yourself in the eye with a mascara wand.

I absolutely would not drop my hairbrush in the toilet on a perfect day.

This hypothetical day would not include having to run to catch a bus cause you couldn't find your shoes.

My perfect day wouldn't include spilling water all down the front of my shirt and pants and having to sit at your desk, damp and shivering until it dried.

I probably wouldn't include in my perfect day having someone yell at me over the phone - asking "Are you new? Cause I usually don't have this much trouble..." when all they had to do was tell me where they worked and I wouldn't have had to ask them all those questions. They assumed I would know them by name - ha!

A perfectly choreographed day would definitely not include an email sent to my boss about something I didn't do, nor would it have emails from other people requesting information that I've told them 40-eleven times already.

That day would hopefully be free of co-workers that stress out over the smallest of details, phones that ring when I'm trying to work, or paperwork that's illegible cause I work with a bunch of nurses and doctors.

A perfect day would definitely not allow me to spill marinara sauce on my newly dried shirt, thus causing me to run to the bathroom and wet it down again so it doesn't stain.

And I know it wouldn't end with me watching my bus fly by while I'm standing at the corner waiting for the stop light to change.

Once I got home and my perfect day would be winding down, I definitely wouldn't burn my dinner, but have to eat it anyway cause I'm starving. There's no way that it would include that!

I know one thing that I would include on my perfect day - phone calls from friends, an understanding and sympathetic roommate, and a good nights sleep.

Yesterday included all of these things.

Mukilteo Update

2011-04-01T10:38:00.007-06:00

Here's an update on the destroyed church building in my stake:
--------------------------------
Mormon church rising from the ashes
Published on Wed, Mar 30, 2011 by Sara Bruestle

Church officials Kirk Call, Eric Jacobsen, Todd Valentine, Jeff Lee and Bruce Merrell break ground with Mayor Joe Marine, second from right, at the site of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Mukilteo, which was destroyed by fire in October.

Six months after fire destroyed Mukilteo’s Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the church’s congregations are rising from the ashes of their loss.

Church officials broke ground on March 19 in a ceremony at the site of the Mormon church at 11001 Harbour Pointe Blvd. that an arsonist burned last October.

The church was set ablaze with a Moltov cocktail around 3 a.m. on Oct. 16. There are no known suspects.

“The Lord Jesus Christ taught us that faith always overcomes fear, and that we can rise from the dust, rise from the ashes,” said Elder Bruce Merrell. “I pray that in our hearts all of us will continue to ask that those who did whatever they did here, that their hearts will be softened.”

The groundbreaking was a celebration for the rebuilding of the LDS church, scheduled to start in April. The ceremony was held where the church once stood, outside in the sunshine and the wind.

Speakers at the ceremony included Merrell, President Jeff Lee, President Janice Thorne and Mayor Joe Marine. The Beverly Park and Harbour Pointe combined choirs performed during the ceremony under the direction of Shauna Croft.

Church officials expressed thanks to the community – the firefighters, city officials, church communities and neighbors – who responded to the fire with aid and sincere sorrow, kindness and love.

Cards and flowers were left at the site, and they received many invitations to share their meeting places with the Harbour Pointe and Beverly Park wards.

“Almost to no exception, they said, ‘We are remembering you in our prayers,’” Lee said.

The congregations chose not to focus on their loss, or who the arsonist was or why he started the fire, but on what they needed to do to continue moving forward.

“I had the chance to attend both meetings the day after the fire and it seemed like we didn’t skip a beat,” Lee said. “It was a blessing to be there, to feel that hope and comfort from the spirit of the Holy Ghost. I’m grateful for this experience – I don’t look for them – but I know that in the process we are closer to the community as well as to one another in our congregations.”

Since the fire, the congregations have been meeting in the Everett and Lynnwood LDS churches. About 800 followers comprise the Harbour Pointe and Beverly Park wards.

“This experience has truly strengthened our faith and our testimony that our religion is centered on the love of our savior Jesus Christ and not on the building where we gather to worship,” Thorne said.

City and church officials met soon after the fire to start the rebuilding process.

“Literally in weeks of the church burning down, the elders and their architects, and the planning department of our city were saying, ‘We are coming back, and we are coming back quickly and stronger and better than we were before,’” Marine said.

Construction of the new church is scheduled to start Monday, April 4, and finished Dec. 20.

Thorne said both congregations are, of course, sorry for the loss of the church, but that with the groundbreaking they are not only happy but exuberant to be building another.

“It will be a little bit bigger, which will be nice, and we’ll be able to have some technology upgrades, which will be nice, and sprinkler systems, which will be nice,” said Diana Herrmann, of the Beverly Park ward. “It’s exciting for us. We get to come back home.”

---------------------------------

I was sorry to miss the groundbreaking, but have to echo what was said in the article. It feels like only positive things have come from this horrible event! We have realized what is most important, and that is not the building we meet in, but the reasons why we meet and the feeling and inspiration received in those meetings. Happy to see that things are moving forward and I'm excited to see the new building!

Original story found HERE.

Oh bus. Why do you torture me?

2011-03-29T17:07:00.006-06:00

I've got a couple of updates to my bus-life. First, the bad news: there is no more Mr. Puffy Coat. I think he must have retired cause I haven't seen him in over a month. I thought at first he was just on vacation, but it's been so long now he's probably gone for good. It's funny how he bugged me for so long, but now that I don't see him, I sort of miss the puffy guy! RIP Puffy Coat. RIP.

On brighter news, there's been a change of routes for my area which includes an additional stop along the freeway. That's not the good news. Actually, this has resulted in an increase in riders, which is fine in the morning since I'm one of the earlier stops. But at night I'm the last bus stop before we get on the freeway, so since the change I haven't been able to find a seat on the bus. And not only am I standing, but it's so jam-packed before they even get to my stop, I'm left trying to wedge my way in and then stand cheek to cheek for the rest of the ride home. Not fun! So I decided to try something new.

For the first time in 3 years of taking the bus, I sought out a new bus stop. I knew that I could catch a different bus at the beginning of it's rounds if only I was willing to walk a little further. So I figured out the quickest walking route and set out. One mile later and I was at the stop, a little breathless and sweaty, but I was relieved to have even found it! I get confused easily in the downtown area... The bus came almost immediately and I was pleased to see that I was the first person on board. It took a little longer to get through town, but this bus was considerably less packed and I enjoyed my little tour through the city.

Plus, the bus driver I had was a rock star. It was awesome! He drove that bus like he was on a bicycle not a 40 foot accordian style bus - the way he darted in and out of traffic and cut people off! Annoying when you're in a car, hilarious when you're in the bus. Needless to say, I was pretty excited about my new find. So it added another 10 minutes to my already long commute. At least I had a seat! And really, an additional 10 minutes just means another 10 minutes I can nap. Cause that seems to be all I can do on the bus these days - sorry books...

The next day however, I discovered the one downside to my new little setup. I was a bit earlier for the bus and as I stood there waiting, I noticed a very distinct, very wonderful smell. I looked around for the source of this delightful aroma, until I noticed this little shop directly behind where I was waiting for the bus:

Do you want to know how good this place smells at 5 o'clock at night on an empty stomach? It's brutal! I tried to ignore my growling stomach, but it cried out for 'Pizza!" Thankfully my bus came then, but I don't know if I'm going to be able to hold out much longer. One day I'm going to cave, and I'll be sitting in there stuffing my face with cheesy pizza goodness watching my bus fly by. And it will be totally worth it.

Warning: Mass of Posts

2011-03-27T22:34:00.002-06:00

Sorry, I'm playing catch-up. There are four or so posts after this one, documenting my March experiences. Enjoy!

It's coming...

2011-03-27T22:30:00.001-06:00

If there's one thing you have to love about Seattle, it's that spring lasts from February to July. We start getting daffodils in mid-February, then it rains for a month, and now the trees are in bloom! We'll probably have another month or two of rain, before finally...the 5th of July it will turn warm and sunny.

Good thing spring is such a lovely time of year!

The Barnacle

2011-03-27T22:17:00.005-06:00

I spent a couple of wonderful days last week with my friend Ethnie in Wisconsin. Not a great time of year to visit the midwest, but it actually turned out to be beautiful weather! Sunny a couple of days and almost up to 50 degrees. Which is amazing when you consider they got another snowstorm this week that dumped 11 more inches of snow...

Anyway, I went back there to visit Eth and to watch the NCAA tournament. We did watch an awful lot of basketball, ate way too much food and talked and talked and talked. I feel so incredibly blessed to have such a great friend in my life. I love those friends that you can see once or twice a year and yet it's just like you've never left. We just pick up exactly where we left off. I wish I had pictures from the week, but we didn't really do anything worth saving for posterity...

I told Ethnie that I've been feeling like a barnacle lately. I think I attach myself to people and just stick with them, whether they like it or not! With family far away, it's more important than ever to have good friends around me, and I'm lucky to have created my own sort of family up here in Seattle. Co-workers, church friends and leaders are all so supportive of me. I'm feeling so grateful for those special relationships.

Snaps

2011-03-27T21:47:00.000-06:00

The beginning of March I was able to go to my very first jazz concert. I'm not a big jazz buff, in fact I only have one CD. About 10 years ago I was in a CD exchange store (remember those?) and I asked the guy at the counter for a recommendation on a jazz CD. He walked over and pulled out P.S. Mr. Cole, by the John Pizarelli Trio. It was an excellent introduction to jazz, since they're playing familiar songs - by Nat King Cole - and there aren't long tracks full of scatting or trumpet and snare solo's. I loved it! I listened to that CD over and over again, committing each song to memory.

Imagine my delight to hear that John Pizarelli actually frequently comes to the Edmonds Center for the Arts, and that my friend Charlotte could get tickets! I was about to meet a hero of mine, and I was pretty excited.

The pictures aren't great since they're from my phone and I was sitting in the balcony, but that's all I've got.

I fully expected people wearing black sitting around snapping their fingers instead of clapping, but instead was surprised to see a fairly normal crowd in a typical theatre setting. John was incredible - so talented and very personable. He wore a classy three piece suit and told jokes and had the whole audience laughing along with him. To even make it better, he was backed by a 9-piece band of horns, drums, piano and bass. The whole night was wonderful.

Although I was disappointed not to snap my fingers.

I'd like to adopt

2011-03-27T20:05:00.001-06:00

I was sitting in church today listening to a man describe how he and his wife came to adopt their children. It was an emotional story, understandably, made all the more so by the fact I didn't know his kids were adopted. I sat there thinking about how wonderful it is that people that aren't able to have kids of their own are not denied this blessing. And then I thought, I wish I could do that with a husband.

Wouldn't it be great? Hey, I'd like to have a family now! No problem, ma'am. Sign here, and here, and here. We'll handle the background and financial checks, make sure his history is clean and he's ready and able to be adopted as your new spouse. You tell us what you're looking for, we supply the right person.

Sure would make things a lot easier than this whole waiting thing.

But until adoption becomes a viable option for me, I'm feeling peace through my study on trusting in the Lord. I've been speaking on this topic for the past month at different ward conferences around the area. Every week I get to talk about trust, and every week I study the subject and try to find something to apply to that specific ward. It's been a real blessing in my own life to be able to read and learn and test my faith in this area. One talk that has been especially helpful is by Richard G. Scott.

He's talking about trusting in the Lord, and says "It is so hard when sincere prayer about something we desire very much is not answered the way we want. It is especially difficult when the Lord answers no to that which is worthy and would give us great joy and happiness. Whether it be overcoming illness or loneliness, recovery of a wayward child, coping with a handicap, or seeking continuing life for a dear one who is slipping away, it seems so reasonable and so consistent with our happiness to have a favorable answer. It is hard to understand why our exercise of deep and sincere faith from an obedient life does not bring the desired result.

This life is an experience in profound trust—trust in Jesus Christ, trust in His teachings, trust in our capacity as led by the Holy Spirit to obey those teachings for happiness now and for a purposeful, supremely happy eternal existence. To trust means to obey willingly without knowing the end from the beginning (see Prov. 3:5–7). To produce fruit, your trust in the Lord must be more powerful and enduring than your confidence in your own personal feelings and experience."

I love that. I love the reminder that we have limited vision, and to trust in the Lord we have to trust that He can see the bigger picture. I don't know why I've been asked to be single for so long, when marriage and family are a righteous desire, but I do trust God. I trust that He has a plan for me and that when the time is right I will have the opportunity to marry. It doesn't make it easy! Somedays I want to scream, and I can't tell you how many tears have been shed over this subject, but at the end of the day I still trust Him. I've had too many experiences where He has led me along, too many times my prayers have been answered to doubt that He won't continue to do that for me.

Elder Scott closes his talk by saying, "True enduring happiness with the accompanying strength, courage, and capacity to overcome the most challenging difficulties comes from a life centered in Jesus Christ. Obedience to His teachings provides a sure foundation upon which to build. That takes effort. There is no guarantee of overnight results, but there is absolute assurance that, in the Lord’s time, solutions will come, peace will prevail, and emptiness will be filled."

Good, good stuff.

Warning: It's a snoozer.

2011-03-15T13:24:00.003-06:00

I can't blog when there's nothing going on, and there's nothing going on right now. My life is boring. Really, really boring. Don't believe me? Think I'm exaggerating? Well here's what I have and have not been up to the past few weeks:

What I have been doing:

looking for a new job/possibly going back to school. I just feel like it might be time. Then there's the money issue and the availability of jobs to consider. I did have an interview last week but it didn't pay enough and felt like too much of a "job". I'm too old to go from job to job, I'm looking for a smart career move. Hmm, we'll see...

working on my calling. Not quite comfortable with the fact that I know so few people in the wards we visit! But I do know some people, and I like the women I'm working with. Every Sunday a new ward and new faces. Last Sunday I must have appeared too pathetic, because a lady came up to me afterwards and volunteered to be my mother while I'm away from home. She said that she just wanted to hug me.... (Hmm, I wonder if she has any unmarried sons?)

glued to the internet. I waste way too much time online! First I got sucked into this game, then once I beat it, I found this. Just when I was feeling like I needed to unplug a little and step away from the computer, the earthquake happened in Japan and I'm back online looking at pictures and being sucked in to the stories. I try to limit my time with this cause it makes me too sad, but it's hard.

What I haven't been doing:

sleeping. Ever since we moved, I have had the roughest time sleeping. Which is totally unusual for me, I typically don't have any problems. But so far I've only been able to sleep all the way through the night one time (1!). It's driving me crazy. I've covered up the window so there's no light, I always sleep with earplugs, and the temperature is a perfect 64 degrees. What am I doing wrong?

enjoying the sunshine. We've entered monsoon season here, and have received nearly 4 inches of rain in the past two weeks. It's insane, and I'm ready for a break. Plus it seems that I always leave my rain boots where I don't need them. It won't be raining in the morning so I won't wear them, then it's pouring when I leave work! Or vice versa. I guess either way, those boots sure look cute sitting in my closet/under my desk.

waiting for summer to travel. I'm off tomorrow to Wisconsin and a much needed vacation! Although this may not be a popular winter destination, I'm excited to be with a dear friend, watch some basketball, and hopefully get some sleep! Does it really matter where you vacation, so long as you get away?

Are you convinced yet? My life is boring. Really, really boring.

I'm as restless as a willow...

2011-03-04T07:30:00.000-07:00

I've had these lyrics tumbling around my mind for weeks now:

"The things I used to like, I don't like anymore.
I want a lot of other things I've never had before.
It's just like mother says...I sit around and mope.
Pretending I am wonderful. And knowing I'm a dope.

I'm as restless as a willow in a windstorm,
I'm as jumpy as a puppet on a string.
I'd say that I had spring fever, but I know it isn't spring.
I'm starry-eyed and vaguely discontented
Like a nightingale without a song to sing.

Oh, why should I have spring fever
When it isn't even spring?

I keep wishing I were somewhere else,
Walking down a strange new street.
Hearing words that I have never heard
From a man I've yet to meet.
I'm as busy as a spider spinning daydreams,
I'm as giddy as a baby on a swing.
I haven't seen a crocus or a rosebud
Or a robin on the wing.
But I feel so gay, in a melancholy way,
That it might as well be spring,
It might as well be spring."

Anyone else feeling a little spring fever?

Could be from all the rain and storms.
Could be because I'm feeling a necessary change in employment.
Could be from those 20 nasty pounds that won't seem to budge.

Could be a lot of things I suppose. But today I'm feeling as restless as a willow in a windstorm.

31 flavors of Me!

2011-02-27T17:37:00.003-07:00

Because it's my special day, I thought I would come up with a list of the 31 things you may not know about me. But then I tried thinking of things and realized that I'm not that interesting. I could only come up with about 3! Time to get out of the house more often...

So I've decided instead to list the 31 Things You Better Know About Me. Or maybe I should call it, 31 Things that as Family and Friends You Probably Already Know. Hmm, kind of a long title... isn't it? Well you get the point. Here's the list:

31. I don't have a middle name. Actually, none of the girls in my family do, because my mom didn't want our names to be too long when we got married. The irony in all of that is that none of the girls are married. Guess we got the last laugh/sob!

30. I move a lot. Move number 27 happened last Saturday. Which means I've moved nearly once a year during my lifetime. The most number of moves in a year was three, and let's hope that doesn't happen again.

29. I love to read. I'm one of those people you see on the bus that's missed their stop because they're so into their book. I've been known to have a book on my lap while sitting in traffic, while brushing my teeth, and keep a small paperback in my purse at all times.

28. I cry way too easily. It's not usually because I'm sad, although I do then too, but when I get really happy, feel the Spirit, or hear beautiful music I get choked up. I can't help it, but sometimes I wish there was an off switch.

27. I love pineapple and coconut, but not together. They're two of my favorite tastes, but I hate the pina colada flavor. For me, they should not be mixed.

26. I'm a hard worker. Thank you mom and dad. It's the one thing I do really well.

25. My favorite movie is Groundhog Day. I love all those chick flicks as well, but the one movie I can put on any time of day or night is Groundhog Day. Don't ask me why, it's not that great, but I just love it!

24. I've never dyed my hair. I like my natural hair color. So there.

23. My favorite color is blue. There's not a color that I dislike, but I gravitate towards blue more often than not. Once in college, my roommate teased me for wearing blue pajama bottoms with fish on them, with a blue comforter and pillow, a blue backpack, and more blue clothes in the closet. Then she found out my horoscope is Pisces and she laughed even harder.

22. I'm the middle child. An older brother and sister, a younger brother and sister, and me - smack dab in the middle. Taught me negotiating skills, patience, and how to blend in. I've also learned to love being friends with both the olders and the youngers.

21. I can't wink my left eye. I've tried but it just looks weird, so I have to settle for winking with the right.

20. My favorite candy is Almond Joy. Coconut and chocolate? Sign me up!

19. I love to edit papers. I'm a good speller and I have an innate sense of correct grammar, so give me a red pen and let me go! I love, love, love to edit papers.

18. My favorite book as a child was Ramona Quimby. Something about that girl just spoke to me and I read and reread that series so many times! She got into trouble, didn't get along with her older sister, and was a brat sometimes - and I loved that! She also loved her family, was awkward in social situations, and just wanted to be recognized. Sound familiar?

17. I can quote, from beginning to end, Bert & Ernie's sing-a-long. Every family has a tape or CD or movie that was distinctive to their family - and this was ours. We listened to it over and over again on family vacations, and it's still a favorite of mine.

16. I'd rather be cold than hot. I'm the crankiest person in the world when it's hot - it's not pretty.

15. I'm very close to my grandparents. I grew up close to them, and still consider them some of the guiding lights in my life. I'll be eternally grateful for their influence and example.

14. My favorite food is strawberries. Yum, yum, yum! I have no off switch with these.

13. I love video games. I have to limit the amount of time I allow myself to play, because I tend to ignore sleep, food, and work until I pass "the next level...".

12. I'm addicted to church talks. I listen or read at least one talk a day, I just love them! I love their beautiful way of speaking, the feelings and uplift I get from the talks, and the answers I've found in them. Mostly I love those men and women giving the talks.

11. I can talk if I have to, but I'm actually pretty shy. I still have to force myself to talk to people I don't know, and I prefer my small group of close friends. I'd rather just sit quietly in the corner, but I keep getting forced to be social!

10. I love kids. I do. I love their sense of fun and adventure, the sweet way they can't say their R's or C's. Luckily I've got 3 nieces and a nephew to keep me young and playful, I just wish they were closer!

9. Mountains. i love them. Besides my family, the mountains are what I miss most about my home. I get very homesick for them.

8. I've been playing the piano since I was 6. It started out of force, because my mom played and thus we all had to play. Somewhere along the way it changed into something that I love and I'll be forever grateful my mom made me practice. I can stumble through playing the organ as well, but I'm definitely not an organist.

7. Utah State, hey, Aggies all the way. I love Utah State University. I'm an Aggie, through and through and extremely proud of my roots there. I was going to add something about BYU here, but it's best I don't talk about that...

6. I love trees. I love all plants really, but trees are my favorite. I could never figure out how to make a career out of loving trees, but wouldn't that be great? One of my favorite places to be is flat on my back, looking up at the tree branches above me.

5. I'm not a feminist, but I believe in the power of women. Nothing gets me more riled up (other than BYU) than seeing a woman sell herself short. Whether it's obsessing over her looks, changing herself to suit only other people, or speaking badly about other people - it drives me crazy when we don't rise to our divine potential.

4. I am from Providence, Utah. My growing up years were idyllic. Days spent riding bikes or playing basketball in the driveway. Rollar skating or riding bikes with friends, and hours spent helping in the yard and around the house were how I filled my days. It seems so far removed from how kids are today, and I'm so grateful for that! We didn't have video games, sometimes not even TV, no cell phones, one bathroom for 7 people, and lots and lots of laughter and fun.

3. I love pizza. Other than strawberries, pizza is the one food that I can eat any time of day or night. I probably have it about once a week, and I've rarely found a kind I didn't love. I know that makes me sound like a 6 year old boy, but it's true. Pizza is rad!

2. I love my family. My family is everything to me. I talk with each member fairly regularly and miss them all every day. I am who I am because of wonderful parents, and the teaching and advice of my siblings.

1. I love God. Anyone who knows me shouldn't be surprised by this. My religion and my God is the most motivating and driving force behind all I do. He shapes me into who I am and gives me purpose. My relationship with God is the most important thing in my life.

It's my Cable and I can be Mean if I want to...

2011-02-16T22:17:00.001-07:00

Dear Sirs,

On Monday, February 14th I called (CABLE COMPANY - let's call them Punks) to ask that our service be discontinued at the end of the week. I am moving on the 19th and the new apartment complex that I’m renting with does not have PUNKS access. I requested that PUNKS be disconnected as of February 21st. When I got home that night I was surprised to see that our cable and internet were no longer working, but it didn’t take long to realize that the agent I spoke with had mixed up the days and turned our service off 7 days early. I immediately called PUNKS customer support to get them to turn the services back on. After running through all the tests of what could possibly be wrong with our connection, the tech came to the same conclusion that I did and realized that service had been cut prematurely. At this time, I was told that the office that could help me was closed for the day and I’d have to call back the next day.

My roommate called early Tuesday morning, explained our problem, and was told, rather rudely, that there was nothing they could do and that we would not have internet or cable for that final week. There was no mention of cutting money off our bill or any sort of apology for the disruption in service. She hung up, stunned at the lack of service and the fact that this was the policy, sort of a “you’re out of luck” attitude.

We discussed it, and she called back immediately, hoping to speak with a supervisor about this and did talk with someone more helpful, however the answer was the same. Sorry, nothing we can do. Each of her calls took approximately 45 minutes.

At this time, I called PUNKS and loudly and clearly explained that this was not acceptable and that they were going to do all they could do to get our service back on. I don’t care if it’s for one day or six, but we’re paying for a service and I need that service to be working. The person I spoke to, Shane, was extremely helpful and the first person I had spoke to who showed any courtesy or remorse for the interruption in service. We then spent the next 49 minutes setting up an entirely new account so that I could have cable and internet for the next 6 days. Because I was at work at this time I wasn’t able to verify that the connection was working and so when I got home I found out that the cable worked fine, but the internet was still not working.

I spent another 30 minutes on the phone with another rude “customer service” agent, before I finally had to tell him that I had to go. I had an appointment that I was late for because of this call, so I had to call back later to get this resolved. When I got back from my event, I once again called tech support and was run through the exact same steps that the previous agent had run, even though I told her all that we had already done. Another 45 minutes wasted on the phone before she determined that a tech support agent would need to come out to check things in person.

I gave the agent the times that I was available to meet the agent, but she scheduled a time that did not work for me. I called this morning to cancel that appointment and am going to just let the internet not work for five days. When I hung up the phone last night, I was in tears with the lack of care and service that I’ve been treated with and the ultimate frustration of dealing with this at an already trying and exhausting time during a move. Not once was I offered to have a discount on my bill. Not once did anyone admit that PUNKS had messed up and that they would do anything they could to make it right. Instead I got offers to transfer the service to my new address, or if there was “anything else they could do for me”. Insulting. If I were the manager at this place I would be bending over backward to make this right, to discount the bill, to try and save any face for the company.

As it is, I will never EVER use PUNKS again. I will tell all my friends, family, and co-workers about the foolish and unprofessional way that I’ve been treated and urge them to never sign up for this “service”. I cancel this service with the bitterest of tastes in my mouth, and yet I still feel that all of this could have been avoided if I could have been shown some compassion and service 48 hours ago when this started.

Thought you’d like to know.

I never saw the Step

2011-02-06T23:34:00.002-07:00

My grandparents were married the day after I was born.

Not too many kids can say that, right? Of course, it wasn't a first marriage for either of them, so that explains a little...

I'm heading home to Utah tomorrow, but it's not for a fun reason, it's to attend my grandpa's funeral. Grandpa Lemon passed away on Sunday, and I'm lucky enough to be able to go to the viewing and funeral and spend some time at home with the family.

I've been thinking this week about what it must have been like for grandpa, 31 years ago this month, as he married into the Nelson family. He was a quiet, reserved man, who enjoyed music, beekeeping, and working outside. Nelson's are loud. Nelson's are active. Nelson's can be a little bit overwhelming. We like to play sports, tell jokes, and make wheat beer. (Not like my mom's side of the family who tends to sit quietly under a maple tree sewing. Possibly while wearing white, starched pinafores...)Oh no, Nelson's like to outdo each other when telling a story, each person talking louder and louder to make themselves heard over the din. I wonder what Grandpa thought when he married into that brood.

A co-worker asked me this week if I had a favorite memory with my grandpa. I think I replied something about the fact that he smelled like peppermint gum and aftershave, and he gave bear hugs that could crush your ribs. All of that is true of course, but I've been trying to think if I had a specific memory that stands out and I can't think of anything. I will always and forever remember my grandpa as being quietly in the background, enjoying everyone's company but never needing to stand out. He loved to tell stories, and always had a connection to make with whatever event was happening in your life at that time.

He loved a good joke and loved to laugh, but I'll remember him more for his listening. For a shy person, growing up Nelson was sometimes awkward and overwhelming for me. Grandpa always took the time to talk with me and ask what I was up to. He'd sit by me away from the crowd and we'd talk about school, or more likely, church. He loved to hear what I was doing at church.

So maybe I don't have a specific memory of my grandpa Lemon, but I love that I have a million small moments with him. I love that he could hurt my shoulders when he'd give me a massage, and I love that his eyes crinkled when he smiled. I love that I have a memory of his smell and of his hugs. I love that he loved my grandma.

Mostly, I just love you grandpa. I never, ever thought of you as my step-grandpa. For all of my life, but just one day, you were my grandpa. And I love you for that, forever.

We are the Champions my friends...

2011-02-03T21:24:00.004-07:00

I'm a winner! And not just in that "you're all special and winners in your own way" type of way, but an actual winner! I wrote a month or so ago about a contest we were starting at work called Health for Life. In case you don't remember, we divided into teams and competed in four different areas: mind, body, spirit and community. Every week I would calculate my teams points for doing different activities in each area. There were different levels, like 1 point for noticing the sunset or a tree or flower, etc. But 4 points for meeting a new neighbor, or even 10 for teaching a class. I do all three of these on a typical Sunday, so as I predicted, my team won for the most points! We all got a crown and everything, so it's official.

One nice thing about this contest was it really let you see where your strong and weak points are. I wasn't too surprised to see my spirit category had the most amount of points, but I was disappointed to see that I was sorely lacking in the mind area! If it wasn't for my reading and doing crossword puzzles I would have been in trouble!

The contest is over now, but I hope we do it again. A fun activity to break up the work day and set some easy goals.

Get in Line

2011-02-02T20:45:00.001-07:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about rules. Why we have them, how good I am at following them, and who creates them. There are of course the basic rules of the country: traffic laws, constitutional type of things, etc. There are also rules or commandments that I follow from my religion. Many people call them restrictive, unnecessary, and maybe even foolish.

And then, in a class all their own, there are the bus rules. There are so many rules about riding the bus, all unspoken and finite, and most take place before you even get on. My bus stop is at a park and ride, so they have a couple of these shelters that you can line up in and be protected from the rain. Like so:

There's room under the shelter for two lines, and we usually have so many people waiting that the line stretches out from the shelter towards the street. The lines for the bus change with every hour, and it seems like everyone just knows what these rules are and mindlessly obeys them. For example, I rotate between three different times to catch the 415: there's one at 6:36, one at 6:50, and the last at 7:09. I can take any of these and make it to work on time.

The line for the early bus starts out on the left side of the shelter, halfway down. The first half of that line is for bus 511 and the line next to it is for bus 413. After the 413 comes, my line takes a step to the right and shifts up so we are now parallel with the 511 line. Depending on when you get to the park and ride, you could be on either side of the shelter waiting for the same bus. Confused yet?

The next bus, the line forms on the left and is intermingled with the 511 people, so that when our bus comes we have to step in and out and around each other to get through the shelter. The line for the 413 is on the right side.

Finally, it's the last bus at 7:09. For this one, the line for the 511 is on the right side, the line for the 413 is on the left side, and for some unknown reason the line for the 415 is not under the shelter at all. Instead, we start near the garbage can and stretch out into the parking lot, so that when it rains (which it tends to do here) we get wet. Bus 413 and bus 511 come before the 415, so the shelter sits there empty, while we wait in the rain.

The thing that really kills me about this is that everyone just seems to know that this is how it is. There's never any confusion, we just line up like we're schoolchildren waiting for recess and file silently onto the bus. Occasionally there will be a new person who asks if they're in the correct line, but this is done very quietly and they quickly take their place in the queue.

Now you may think this is a lot of nonsense just to explain how the bus line works, and yes maybe it is, but I have a point. I so often hear from people about my religion and how it's so restrictive and full of rules and commandments and how stifling that must be. How I must wish I could just "do what I want" and not be bound down by those unnecessary limitations.

It makes me laugh inside when I hear this, because they've missed the mark so completely. I follow the "rules" because I want to. Because I know where they come from and my God that is giving them to me. And I find extreme joy in humbling myself to find out the reasons why that rule is in place. I love that our religion doesn't expect blind obedience - we are encouraged to find out the reasons why for ourselves, and to pray and seek the answers. I love that part of obedience, and I love that God wants me to understand why the rules are in place.

I read this quote today, and I think it sums up my feelings perfectly: "In a talk at Brigham Young University in 1994, Rabbi Harold S. Kushner said, "I'm a traditional Jew, and I observe the biblical dietary laws. . . . I suspect most of you assume I go around all day saying to myself, 'Boy, would I love to eat pork chops, but that mean old God won't let me.' Not so. The fact . . . is, I go around all day saying, 'Isn't it incredible? There are five billion people on this planet and God cares what I have for lunch [and] what kind of language I use.' "
. . . I am not diminished by being told there are certain things I may not do because they are wrong. Rather, it enhances me."

Isn't that perfect? It makes total sense to me. After all, I obey 14 unspoken and unfounded rules just to get on a bus every morning and I don't feel like that's stifling my spirit.

Dreaming of Grandma

2011-01-22T21:33:00.005-07:00

I haven't written a lot about my Christmas vacation, which now seems like a faraway dream, because honestly I didn't do a whole lot. It was wonderful: Quality time with the family, eating my life away, hugs and kisses from the nieces and nephew, skiing, Aggie basketball, and watching a lot of football. Not the most exciting thing to blog about! But I've had plenty of time this past week to think about my vacation as I've been out of commission with the dreaded flu.

When I look back at those 10 lovely days at home, there is one thing that stands out as the most memorable. On Christmas Eve my family was over at my grandma's house to celebrate with her and I had a few moments to wander around her house. She was going to move in with my aunt in a few days, so I knew that this may be the last time I could wander around while she was living there, the last time when all her things would look exactly the same as they have for the past 30 plus years. I took my time and started in the back of the house, working my way towards the living room.

There's not a nook or cranny that I don't know in that house, not a picture I haven't memorized, or closet I haven't hid in. My two best cousins and I were constantly looking for a place we could call our own, and if the one room in the house that had a lock on the door was occupied, we frequently tucked ourselves into a cupboard or closet.

I poked around a little in my grandpa's den and ran my fingers over the familiar typewriter keys, gazed at the $2 bill under the glass desk top, and inhaled his cologne on jackets left hanging behind the door. I paused at each photo and painting in the hallway, and smiled at how pictures of grandchildren are everywhere. Down in the "lock room" I found the spot on the bookshelf where my two cousins and I wrote our names in permanent black ink. And I laughed recalling how we once broke the window screen in that room, tried to fix it with gum and finally signed a document swearing we wouldn't tell anyone what happened. Kelsie caved within 15 minutes and confessed to grandma, who simply walked over to the screen and popped it into place again.

Each room I wandered into sent memories rushing at me like a warm breeze, leaving me with a smile on my face and gratitude in my heart. So many sleepovers were held here. Hundreds of barbecues and General Conference bingo games and movie nights with the old projector were spent happily with cousins and family. I could walk that house blindfolded and tell you what each room looks like, right down to the color of shag carpet.

As I finished my reminiscing I made my way back towards the east room where my grandma sat on her little couch. She gazed up at me with her sweet smile and grabbed my hand, "I'm so glad you're here! It's been too long." she said. I bent down to kiss her cheek and told her I loved her. My grandma is one of those people that makes you feel like she's been waiting all day just to see you. Like you're the highlight of her day! That's a gift I wish I had.

I've always had a special relationship with my grandparents, they're the ones I ran to as a child when I needed some extra attention. Only living two blocks away, we spent nearly as many afternoons with them as we did with our school friends. If they were annoyed by this, I never knew it, they always seemed so pleased to see us run through the door and call their name. I could write for days about all the memories I have of them, but I'll save that for another day.

My grandma is living with my aunt now, and nothing will ever be the same again. She's on hospice, and is so frail and forgetful. It's hard to remember those days we'd stay up late watching movies together, or when she'd curl my hair into tight ringlets to get me ready for school. Has it been that long since she drove through the snow to pick me up for parent/teacher conference because my mom was stuck? Time sure has flown!

But in my mind's eye I still see my grandma, sitting on her couch, waiting for me to come and give her a squeeze.

Mojo-less

2011-01-09T22:40:00.004-07:00

Do you ever have those days when you're just a little....off?

I don't know how else to describe it, but that was me today. I had bizarro dreams last night, so I tossed and turned and didn't wake up feeling extremely rested. I said the wrong things to one of my roommates, didn't even consider the feelings of another. Nearly cried three times before 10 am, and just felt generally like my mojo was gone. I nearly called the entire day a wash, and crawled back into bed to start over, but I had too much to do today and a lesson to teach.

I've been stressed out this past week about this lesson and it seemed to have lodged in my throat with a general feeling of uneasiness and anxiety. I woke up thinking about how this lesson wasn't coming together like I wanted to, but feeling determined to work on it some more before church.

I showered, talked with my roommate while eating breakfast then set about the business of lesson prep. Still...nothing. I just couldn't get the ideas to come together! Before I knew it, the time had come to leave for my morning meetings. I drove to church absent-mindedly, still trying to fit the pieces in my mind into place. In the wink of an eye, time flew by and I found myself standing in front of the class. I admitted to them the trouble I had had piecing the lesson together and we all laughed a little at my clumsiness. And then, as quickly as it had left me ....the mojo was back.

I take no credit for this, it's happened to me often enough that I know exactly where The Spirit has come from. And I thank my kind and loving Heavenly Father for gracing me with the right words to say and for allowing His spirit to be in our class. Like I said, this has happened many, many times before - and yet, I'm always amazed at just how miraculously it all comes together. What a beautiful blessing.

And as quickly as it came, it left and I was mojo-less again. Just one of those days, I suppose. But even now, at the end of the day and no matter how "off" I still feel, the emotion I'll remember from this day is one of gratitude. It's those little blessings that keep you going, isn't it?

Boots. Just a pair of Boots.

2011-01-06T21:42:00.003-07:00

I'm happy to announce I am now the proud owner of a pair of rain boots. Not just any boots, but Chooka-dual-buckle-solid-Chocolate-boots. Made of 100% rubber. Oh yeah, the good stuff. But more important than the brand or color is the fact that I own boots. I've been eying rain boots for a couple years now, but wasn't sure I wanted to make the investment. Boots are a big deal! They mean you're going to spend significant time in the rain. That you're planning on getting some use out of those boots. That you're staying in Seattle. Oh wait, what?

Yeah, I made my decision. I'm sticking in the Northwest for a little bit longer! It's been a difficult choice, especially after spending 10 days at home. And I can't say that I'll make it to my 5 year mark up here, but for now I think that this is where I need to be. I have faith that when it's the right time to move on, I'll know it. And as far as I can tell, now is not that time! So me and my boots are sticking it out a little bit longer.

Yep, boots are a big deal.

2010: A year in review

2010-12-23T18:32:00.016-07:00

One of my favorite year end/new year beginning traditions is reading all the lists from the past year. You know the ones: top 10 movies, top 100 songs, etc., etc. So while you read up on all these other top lists, take a look at my

10 Most Impactful Events in 2010

10. Starting out at number 10, comes my milestone birthday: Lisa turns 30.

I may or may not have freaked out on this one a little bit, it just seemed a little scary to be hitting that age while still feeling and acting like a 16 year old. Since the big 3-0,I've heard lots of advice from people, most of it that things only go up from here! And that the 30's are a lot more calm than the 20's. Here's hoping that's true...

9. This event is a little more loose, but this past year I've really been able to Discover Seattle. I'm heading into 3 years of living in this area of the world, and I still love it! I think it's a uniquely beautiful place, and 2010 brought a lot more exploration of some places I'd been wanting to check out for a while. Several hikes, a trip up to the San Juan Islands, seeing the nasty Gum Wall, visits to the EMP and Pacific Science Center rounded out my great year for traveling (more on that farther down...). I was also able to go to a Seahawks and a Sounders game! Both great fun, hopefully that continues this year....

8. Life-Changing. Exciting. Exhausting. Inspiring. All words that describe my weekend as a counselor at Camp Erin. I wish I had pictures to share from those three days, but we're bound to a confidentiality restriction and aren't allowed camera's in the camp. Suffice it to say, this weekend was amazing! I had some great kids, two wonderful co-counselors, and it didn't rain. Win-win-win.

7. New work position and New church position. 2010 seemed to be a year full of challenges, and no time was more difficult for me than the middle of the summer. I began my new church service in the middle of June, my roommate moved in the beginning of July, I started a new position at work in the middle of July, and moved apartments in the beginning of August. It has been non-stop ever since, and while I find both work and church to be fulfilling and challenging, I'm hoping that this year will slow just a tad so I can catch my breath!

6. There's nothing a single person loves more than a wedding - especially when that wedding is for a younger sibling... Bring on event number 6 - Phil gets married.

I'm thrilled that my younger brother Philip has found Stacie - she's the perfect match for him and fits in our family so easily. I was lucky enough to fly home for their wedding weekend in May, and despite my apprehension of attending weddings, really enjoyed seeing a lot of my old friends from home. I'm excited to get to know Stacie better this upcoming year, and am glad she has taken over the monumental task of updating Phil with clothes from this decade.

5. Over Independence Day weekend, I was able to travel back to Wisconsin with Ethnie. Along the way we stopped at several places I'd never been to: Mount Rushmore, The Badlands, Cosmos, Lambeau Field. I love a good road trip and this was one of my favorites, it helped take the sting out of Eth moving a little bit.

4. Despite the lack of visits from family members (ahem), I was thrilled to have visits from friends and from Phil (right before his wedding!). It's always great to have people make a special trip to come see you, but when it's friends that already know the area and are content to lay around and just watch movies, it's all the better!

3. You'll probably wonder what could possibly top number three when you see this picture I'm about to post, and you're right. It's not fair for any human to be this insanely adorable. But I only met my newest niece Ivy at the end of the year, so her impact was limited to the last five days of 2010. But with cheeks like these, the impact is huge.

Oh, and just because I can, here's a pic of the other three - aren't they beautiful? I miss them every day.

2. and 1. The Trip to Ireland. Could there be a bigger event for me in 2010? My vacation to Ireland was so much fun it deserved to take up the top two spaces. This trip was everything I hoped it would be, and way, WAY more. It was breathtakingly beautiful, overwhelmingly so actually. Megan and I were picking out real estate options as we drove around. There were places steeped in history and smelling of moss, and we had our trusty Darby car to get us where we wanted to be. Beyond the beauty of the country, and the excitement of traveling overseas for the first time, this vacation was truly fun! Exactly what a vacation should be. Even now, nearly 9 months later, I almost get homesick for that trip - it was that amazing.

So that's it, 2010 is done. 2011 is bound to be eventful: with another move coming up in February, a shift to a real, live, adult ward, another Camp Erin excursion, and trips home and to Wisconsin, and possibly (hopefully!) even across the pond again...

When you look back at a stellar year like this and forward at new and exciting things, it's hard not to cheer. Life is Good.

The Week of Being Still

2010-12-19T16:01:00.002-07:00

still (adjective)

1. remaining in place or at rest; motionless; stationary: to stand still.

2. free from sound or noise, as a place or persons; silent: to keep still about a matter.

3. subdued or low in sound; hushed: a still, small voice.

4. free from turbulence or commotion; peaceful; tranquil; calm: the still air.

5. without waves or perceptible current; not flowing, as water.

Last year I read this on a blog that I follow:
"When I was in college I remember learning about a tradition they had at the Taos Indian Pueblo in Taos, New Mexico. At the end of every year, they close the pueblo to tourists and have what they call "The Time of Being Still". I love the idea of setting aside some time to just be still. And so at the start of this busy and sometimes rushed holiday season we are having our own family "Week of Being Still".

This is one of those traditions that is still being formed in my head, but so far it's been nice. We're trying not to do too many things outside the house this week. We're spending time each evening talking about Christmas and why we celebrate, and we're slowly pulling out the decorations piece by piece. First the advent calendar, then the Christmas tree, then the lights and the ornaments. We're reading about Mary and Joseph and listening to quiet carols and having dinner by candlelight (which is a big hit with the kids).

We still have to buy and wrap and mail a few gifts, and bring goodies to the neighbors, and write a long list of Christmas cards.. but we'll start all that hustle and bustle next week. This week we're being still."

Isn't that lovely? I remember reading it last year and thinking, "...well, that's a nice idea! Not going to happen this year though." I was in the midst of moving, I had a bunch of projects I was working on, and my life felt way too chaotic to even think much about being "still". However, I tucked that thought away all year, and looked forward to this Christmas when I could finally incorporate it into my own tradition.

So I decided I would get everything done as early as possible, and set aside the final week before Christmas to be my Still Week. I finished my shopping two weeks ago, and had planned on spending last week finishing up the homemade gifts and putting everything together. Ha! Easier said than done! Of course there were all sorts of unexpected things that came up, work was a beast, and church duties required some extra meetings. I pushed on however, determined to get my week of stillness. I still have a few things left to do today, but as of tomorrow I'm beginning to be still.

And, as an added bonus, I've finally done it! I found a reason to be glad I'm single! I've been looking for years for possible upsides and it's finally here. Cause it's definitely way easier to be still when it's just you. Even though the person that wrote the original blog has three young kids, I just know how much more difficult this would be if I wasn't on my own. Even now, I keep thinking of all these last minute things I want to do. Treats I could make and deliver, one more present I could buy, etc. etc., but I'm going to resist the urge and just be still.

Rain...a way of life

2010-12-09T22:26:00.003-07:00

It's the most wonderful time of the year...

And just what, exactly, does rainfall that is "hydrologically significant" mean anyway? Cause that's what is supposed to happen on Saturday...

Knot now...

2010-12-06T22:48:00.006-07:00

Imagine a climbing rope.

You know, like the kind they made you climb in gym class. A vertical humiliation rope for the weak kids in the class like myself. My wimpy arms would grasp as high as I could, then shakily pull me up the rope til my feet were off the ground. Let's just say, I never got very far and leave it at that. Typically I was able to pull myself up just high enough for my feet to rest on the knot at the bottom of the rope. I'd rest there for a moment, then sort of jump to try and get a little higher before pathetically sliding back down.

Have the visual in your mind? Okay, now let's compare this to life. You're making pretty good progress, albeit shaky and slow, but every now and then you're given a knot to rest on. You've also got coaches that yell encouragement and give you a boost now and again. Sometimes you falter and feel yourself slide back down to the knot. Life is a little different in that obstacles come at you not only from within, but from outside forces as well (Okay, the analogy doesn't completely work. But stick with me!).

I got a veritable dodgeball thrown at me this past Sunday while hanging on my rope. I learned that a cousin of mine passed away suddenly. This cousin had been bravely fighting cancer for a while, and while I always thought that she might be sick or weakened from the disease, I really believed she would recover. To hear that she had died so abruptly and left behind three children and a husband really caused me to slide down on my rope. I landed where I always do, however on a solid double knot. These two knots consist of my family and my faith.

These knots have always been and will always be my support and my starting point in good and bad times. Sometimes I have to rest on them, allow them to hold me up when I'm too weak to do it myself. Frequently I use them as a base to jump forward and make progress in areas that are hard for me. But most often, they are the place I come back to again and again and again for comfort and strength.

I've been incredibly blessed to have a close-knit family. Not without it's problems, of course, but really very close. My siblings and I grew up doing nearly everything with our cousins. Birthdays, all holidays, summers, winters; they were all spent with extended family of one sort or another. In a lot of ways, my cousins were an extension of my siblings. Little did I know, but every Christmas talent show, UEA conference, and Girl's Home slip n'slide was tightening and growing our family knot.

Times like this, I would love to be at home. Grief is harder to bear by yourself, and I long to have my cousins, siblings, aunts, uncles, and parents around me to share and distribute the weight a little easier. But in a lot of ways, I do feel them around me. I haven't even seen some of my cousins in years, yet I still feel that tight family knot supporting me and encircling me.

And of course I have my knot of faith. My testimony that I will see my cousin again, and that our family relationship is for eternity is priceless. It softens the twinges of sorrow, and gives me hope and peace. As President Faust says, "This life makes no logical sense unless we think in terms of the eternities." I believe this to be true, and this week has only strengthened my knot in the belief I have of eternity.

Life is hard sometimes. It's been hard this week, and will continue to be so....for a long, long time. But as a weakling who so often needs their support and security, I am grateful this day for my two strong knots.

She's got the Skilllz...

2010-12-01T18:03:00.001-07:00

I was calmly working today, when I noticed a high pitched beeping noise coming from outside. The beeping became progressively louder until all of a sudden, there was a man outside my window! Not to worry, he was in a lift. A JLG 60-ft aerial boom lift platform, to be precise.

How do I know? Well, I happen to be an expert on this particular bit of machinery, thanks to two winters of working on Temple Square and putting up Christmas lights. These are the "cherry pickers" we use to put lights on the larger trees. The lifts I'm familiar with range in size from a smaller 40 ft all the way up to the 90 ft (aka, needle of death).

One day while up in the lift, I noticed a small audience below me watching my maneuvering skills. A little girl pointed to me in awe, and told her mom "I want to do that when I grow up!". I nearly busted with pride.

After spending nearly six months up in the air for two years operating these lifts, I actually grew to be pretty proficient at it. I even got to teach classes a few times when the Facilities trainer was busy. Want to see a grown man cry? Just put him up in a lift with a power depraved girl, a diesel engine, and an 82 horsepower engine behind her. I'd purposefully dip the lift or make wild swings just to see them white-knuckle grip the sides of the cage in fear...All safely done, of course.

Anyway, I was watching this guy today, carefully maneuver the lift between buildings to check something under the facia of the apartment next to me, and I have to admit I was a little jealous. I was remembering the glory days of being high up in the air, with the bright blue sky all around me, and the smell of the horse chesnut leaves in my lungs. Just me, the lift, and 4000 strands of Christmas lights. Days when I'd be able to use words like jib, stanchion, and harness when referring to my work.

Then reality came back when it started to rain here, and I watched the guy outside my window struggle to put his hood up over his harness. Oh yes, I suddenly remembered those days as well. The days when I'd have to wear two pairs of Carhartt overalls to try and stay warm. The days of leaning out and under and around the bars of the lift to reach that last branch. The days when I'd get electrocuted over and over again in the rain while putting up that last strand of lights. It wasn't all warm breezes and showing off up in that lift.

As glad as I am to be inside today instead of being zapped by Christmas lights while in a shaky lift 50 feet up in the air, there are days that it would be nice. And the sad thing is, I'll probably never get to do it again. I've had a lot of jobs throughout the years, but I think 'lift-driving' is probably one of the few skills learned on site that hasn't been able to translate over into other jobs I've had. I mean think about it: theatre worker? Taught me a lot about customer service, money management, and The Nutcracker. Trading Post Director? Inventory and selling techniques. Newspaper girl? Arm muscles, bike coordination, and money collection.

But lift operator? I guess the only place I can use that is at parties. Cause who doesn't love a good electrocution story?

Be a cork.

2010-11-25T09:36:00.005-07:00

Due to the snowy weather (yes, snow. In Seattle), I wasn't able to get to my friends house for Thanksgiving. They live on a hill, and it was too icy for my car to attempt. I spent a quiet day at home, watching movies, doing a jigsaw puzzle, and working on Christmas gifts. My friends came and visited later and brought me a plate of food and pies, so I wasn't completely devoid of Thanksgiving cheer, but it was sort of a gray day.

As the day wore on, I admit to feeling kind of melancholy and wondering if this was just a mere vision of my future ahead. Alone, hungry, and waiting for food and friends to take pity and visit me. Possibly with 14 cats at my feet and while wearing a bathrobe.

These thoughts continued until I finally told myself, "Enough!"

To stave off this full blown panic attack, I turned to a talk I've been wanting to read for a while. I heard a quote from this talk last week in my church, and I immediately wanted to hear the whole thing. It's by Elder Richard G. Scott and is entitled "Finding Joy in Life".

In the talk, he discusses how when we are deprived of something we want in life, the Lord in His infinite kindness blesses us with "compensatory blessings". A simple case of receiving the sweet when life feels full of bitter.

Elder Scott says, "Find the compensatory blessings in your life when, in the wisdom of the Lord, He deprives you of something you very much want....Don’t concentrate on what you don’t have or have lost. The Lord promised the obedient to share all that He possesses with them. You may temporarily lack here, but in the next life, if you prove yourself worthy by living valiantly, a fulness will be your blessing."

I love that phrase, "a fulness". And not the fulness we all experienced yesterday by over-eating on pie. But being truly full in spirit; happy and joyous. Content.

He also talks about how we all have events in our life that are sad, difficult, and disappointing. But those are just events that make up our life, they should not define us completely. As Elder Scott says "Sadness, disappointment, and severe challenge are events in life, not life itself. I do not minimize how hard some of these events are. They can extend over a long period of time, but they should not be allowed to become the confining center of everything you do."

I was thinking of this in relation to my alone status this Thanksgiving. I was feeling sad about being single and wondering just how long this singleness is going to last. But after reading this talk, some thoughts came clearly to me: Yes, I am single right now. And yes, sometimes it hurts so much I find it hard to breathe. But not all the time. Most of the time, my life is very full and happy. And yes I'm single, but that's not all that I am. Plus I have been given many compensatory blessings, I just don't see them all the time. I need to work harder to see those blessings, and not focus on what I lack so much.

Allow Elder Scott to finish up for me, "A pebble held close to the eye appears to be a gigantic obstacle. Cast on the ground, it is seen in perspective. Likewise, problems or trials in our lives need to be viewed in the perspective of scriptural doctrine. Otherwise they can easily overtake our vision, absorb our energy, and deprive us of the joy and beauty the Lord intends us to receive here on earth. Some people are like rocks thrown into a sea of problems. They are drowned by them. Be a cork. When submerged in a problem, fight to be free to bob up to serve again with happiness."

Be a cork. There are times when you'll bob to the bottom of the glass, but don't let it last too long. Even if you do spend Thanksgiving alone in your jammies occasionally.

Next year? I'm going to volunteer somewhere. Less me, more everyone else.

Tisha Swiss

2010-11-20T21:48:00.003-07:00

I went and saw Harry Potter on Friday night (spooky and funny - I liked it!) and the theatre as you can expect was pretty packed. About 2 minutes before it started a lady marched in, walked right up to the row in front of me, and asked if everyone could move down one seat so she and her husband could sit together. So about 15 people, grumbling and who can blame them, picked up their stuff and shuffled down a seat. She happily sat down and threw her coat over the seat next to her. About 5 minutes later, after the movie had started, the husband came and joined her. I leaned over to my friend and whispered, "Remind me to tell you about Tisha Swiss".

Tisha Swiss was a girl in my parents ward when they were first married. As I remember it, she was notoriously late to everything, but would always make a grand entrance, by walking right up to the front of the congregation and settling herself in wherever she could fit. It became a standing joke between my parents, and they've since passed it on to us kids. Whenever we'd see someone do this, we'd inevitably hear them called a Tisha Swiss.

No offense to Tisha, but don't we all know someone like this? I don't know, maybe you're even the Tisha Swiss of your friends and family. The point of my story? I don't have one. I just thought it was a funny story to pass along.

And please, don't show up late to the movies. It's rude and distracting, and when I'm paying $10.50 to sit there, I deserve to watch my movie without being Tisha Swissed.

Riding the Short Bus

2010-11-19T10:09:00.005-07:00

I feel like I should change the name of my blog to BusMaster, as often as I seem to blog about the bus. But a significant chunk of my time is spent on Old Blue, so it's natural that I would write about it frequently, right?

Lately the powers that be at Community Transit have been sending a smaller bus for my route. In case you didn't know, there are three sizes of buses. The local bus is the smallest, then there is a slightly larger small bus that is used on busy local routes and on the latest commuter routes. And then there's the accordian bus. It's twice the size of a normal bus and has a section in the middle that works like a bendy straw. This is generally used for the commuters since it seats so many people (there is also the fantastical double-decker bus, but I hardly ever see this, so I'm not counting it as an option).

For the past few weeks, they've been sending the middle sized bus for us commuters. The short bus, if you will. This is a huge problem! There are people standing in the aisles on a good day with the articulated bus, so when they send the smaller bus - yikes. We're talking 20-25 people crammed in the aisles and doorways. It's uncomfortable for everyone, especially at the end of a long day, because you're not only having to stand for a 30-40 minute stretch, you're also trying to keep your balance in stop and go traffic. All of this while trying not to jostle, bump, or touch all the people around, over, and next to you.

I've had my share of standing bus rides, typically about 5-6 times a week, so I think I'm in a position to share a few tips. In case you ever find yourself in this unfortunate situation, here are a few little tricks I've learned to help you deal with it a little better:

1. Put your stuff down. I used to hold my purse, umbrella, and lunch bag the entire trip. Ha! A rookie mistake. Now I know the best thing to do is just to drop it all on the floor. It's not going anywhere, and your hands are free now to hold on! I usually put my umbrella down first (I care about it the least and don't care if it gets dirty), then my purse and lunch bag.

2. Music makes the time fly. It's hard to be cranky when you're creeping down the freeway listening to this:

Seriously, try it. If there were room to dance in the aisles, I just may have broke out my rusty moves. I prefer oldies music, but anything that makes you smile will work. I also recommend (if you have the electronics) downloading TV series you're well familiar with. I have a bunch of The Office on my ipod, and I've seen the episodes often enough that I don't need to look at them to know what's going on. There's nothing better than standing in the aisle grinning and making everyone around you wonder why...

3. Try to get next to someone else with good electronics. I spent a lovely 40 minute ride watching a Japanese soap opera on the persons phone next to me. She had to hold it up pretty high so she could see it, and I got an excellent view. Not my choice of show, but it was strangely addicting and it was fun to make up what I thought was going on.

4. Stand near the door. Either the front or the middle door, but you're going to want some air. My bus is filled with commuters, so there aren't generally any dodgy looking people on there, but it's still 50 plus people in a tight place. It smells. Air flow is a necessity for me, otherwise I get bus-sick. I usually pick my spot, then flatten against the wall to let others cram down the middle aisle. Sounds mean, but I think I'm doing us all a favor by not getting sick.

5. Find a puffy coat to lean on. Luckily for me, I have The Puffy Coat on my bus. And while I hate sitting next to him and being flattened against the window, he does make for a good cushion when you're bumping along the road.

I hope all your bus rides are 'standing-free', but if you are unfortunate enough to ride the short bus occassionally, I hope these tips help make your ride more pleasant!

The Panic Room

2010-11-15T13:30:00.004-07:00

I've found there are three levels of panic in Seattle: pre-snow, during-snow, and post-snow. We worry, worry, worry about the snow months before it shows up. We're in a state of delirium and arrest while it's here - an entire city immobilized by an inch or snow of frozen, white, fluffy water. And it's all we talk about for months, nay for years!, afterwards. Snow is not just a topic of conversation in the Northwest. It's practically a religion.

Right now, we've entered into high alert pre-snow panic:

"I heard it was going to snow this week?"

"Is it snowing now? I can't see with this building in the way" (actual sentence, I can't make up stuff this good)

"See you tomorrow! Unless it snows..."

Seriously, these are actual sentences said by serious people. I hate to sound like a kill-joy, but it's 51 degrees out there right now! It's not going to snow today.

The threat is out there though, and yes we may actually have snow this year. Heaven help us if that actually happens - I don't know if I can handle the drama.

Where Ya At?

2010-11-11T11:43:00.004-07:00

It's always interesting looking back over the past couple of weeks and wondering just where in the world the time has gone?! I don't have a whole lot to show for myself, but in thinking about the past few weeks, I still feel exhausted. Here's a glimpse into my life:

Commuting: Is it safe to say that I officially hate my commute? Every year I forget about how bad it gets in the fall and winter. I don't know why, but traffic for these 4-5 months of the year is always atrocious. Yesterday alone I spent nearly 2 1/2 hours on the bus getting to and from work. That's a large chunk of time!

Work: Nothing new here, but we did start a new program called Health for Life - it's intended to help employees be healthy in all aspects of their life. We created teams of 4, and each team gets points when a member 1)improves the mind by reading, going to classes etc. 2)improves the body by exercising, 3)improves the spirit by meditating, praying, attending church, 4)and improves the community by volunteering.

My team is going to pretty much rock this competition, especially since I contribute on average 15-21 hours a week of church activity. Ha! As the only Mormon in my organization, I have a feeling this is going to be eye-opening for a lot of people. It's really like having a part-time job (with excellent benefits)!

Church: See above. I'm busy, busy, busy! This week I had something church related on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturday! And I have to say, that's typical. Not counting the 6 or more hours I log on Sunday. No end to this schedule in sight, at least not until February....

.....Which leads me to The Big Decision. (aka Bermuda Triangle of Events)

This is what's occupying my mind lately, so let me share a little bit about what I'm thinking. I turn 31 in February, and technically get kicked out of my Singles Ward. I'm actually okay with this part, I've been feeling lately like I don't belong anymore. (They're all so young!) And even though it scares me to death to attend a "normal" ward, I think it's time.

February is also the month when the lease on my apartment is up, so I'll be looking for a new place to live. (Again.) Which also co-incides with me reaching my 3 year mark at work.

----->Explanation: Here's the thing about work: when you've been with the organization for 5 years, they will invest their portion of your retirement permanently. The company has been paying into it the entire time you work there, but you won't see any of it if you leave before 5 years. So I always promised myself that if I stayed at a place longer than 3 years, I would stay the full 5. It just doesn't make sense to leave there at 4 years when you're so close to having that money!

So between work and apartment lease ending and being kicked out of the Singles Ward, it's a good time to make a decision. Do I stay in Seattle an additional 2 years? Or do I move somewhere new? This would be the perfect time to pick up and try a new place and new job. However, am I really tired of Seattle? Some days yes, some days no - isn't that the way it is everywhere? I wish I could say I know what I'm going to do, but I really don't. It's on my mind constantly, but no decisions have been made.

And that, in a very large nutshell, is what's been happening with me. Happy November, indeed.

Boggis, Bunce and Bean

2010-11-01T21:45:00.004-06:00

I know I'm about a year late to the party on this one, but I just watched The Fantastic Mr. Fox on Saturday. I loved it! Have you seen it? Here's a featurette showing how they made it, gives you a feel for the movie.

I highly recommend it. I was amazed at the animation, the story is classic Roald Dahl wacky, and I laughed out loud a lot. Good stuff!

I don't get it.

2010-10-31T20:27:00.005-06:00

So, Halloween. I don't get it. Why is this holiday fun? I don't get it. I don't understand why we celebrate death and people jumping out at you, and candy. Can someone explain why this is fun? Skeletons, ghosts, zombies...I just don't get it. I know some of you do love it (Nif), so please feel free to explain it to me.

I'm not a total scrooge, I don't care if kids dress up, actually I think it's cute. It's just the death fixation, and the darkness and spookiness. Oh well.

If we have to have a holiday, I've got a great replacement idea, and it's all about autumn. Apples, gourds, cider, leaves changing, and cool weather - what's not to love? So how about we scrap Halloween and just celebrate Autumn?

Come on, who's with me?

54 Days

2010-10-31T15:43:00.007-06:00

Do you ever outgrow homesickness? Do you think I'll ever stop yearning to see this?

And I'd really like to visit both of these places:

But mostly I'm missing these two:

Guess I'm just going to be homesick for awhile. No getting around it - at least until Dec. 24th. The countdown is on....

A baking success?

2010-10-23T22:02:00.006-06:00

Those who know me, know I don't cook. Or bake. Or do much in the kitchen at all. It's just not a lot of fun to cook for one, plus I have two talented sisters and an amazing mom that always did a lot of the cooking. I can do basics, but every time I try to branch out - things go wrong. I've been known to use granulated sugar in brownie frosting (crunchy!), misread cookie bake times (hockey pucks!), and didn't know that the abbreviation for pounds was lbs until well into my teens (I innocently and honestly called it a lib. Like, 5 libs of sugar...).

So it's always with trepidation and an accepted sense of failure that I attempt a new recipe. However, living in a cold, dark, and rainy area has only increased my desire to cook and bake. Don't days like this just scream out for homemade... something?

Anyway, I ran across a recipe that looked easy enough for even me to try, so I decided this weekend was a good time to give it a go. After a long stretch of gorgeously sunny weather, we were scheduled to have our first real rainy weekend of the month. Perfect for baking bread! The recipe I found was for focaccia bread, it didn't require any kneading, and all you have to do is dump all the ingredients in a bowl and stir. Yes, I can do this!

The directions were a little scant though, and I wasn't sure it was going to turn out right, but I moved forward and just kept guessing my way through. Luckily, amazingly, it turned out perfect! Crispy on the top, soft and warm on the inside. I ate it with a side of olive oil and balsamic vinegar, plus a nice green salad. Delish.

I may just venture a try at another new recipe in the next five years.

November 19th!!

2010-10-20T08:37:00.002-06:00

I've got my tickets....have you?

The Easy Hike

2010-10-17T19:38:00.006-06:00

Did you know that we've had sunnier weather this past week than we did on the 4th of July, Seafair weekend, Labor Day weekend, and most of the month of August? Yep, it's been a gorgeous fall so far. Crisp, cool mornings warm up to sunny afternoons. It's been absolutely perfect. So, Amy and I decided to get out and enjoy the sunny October weather by finding a hike close to home on Saturday.

I found a hike online that was listed as easy, with excellent views of Heather Lake. Saturday dawned bright and sunny, so we took off around 2 pm to find the trail. We got lost, a lot, so didn't find it until nearly 3 but it was still nice so we kept going. Finally found the place and got started. It was a beautiful place, full of tall evergreen trees and moss dripping off of everything. The trail was a bit moist because of the shade, but the smell of the air and the beautiful skies were wonderful. It didn't take long for the trail to take a steep incline and to turn from an easy bark-covered path to one that was complete rocks. Then there were tree roots all over the path, and walking became downright treacherous! Because there were no trail markers we had no idea how far we had come or how much longer it was to the lake, so we nearly turned around a couple of times. However, we pressed on and finally made our way to Heather Lake.

It was definitely worth the effort (easy hike, my eye!), but we definitely learned a few things. First, don't leave your water bottle in the car. Two hours of hard core hiking without any water was pretty brutal. Secondly, bring something nutritious to refuel when you're done. The only thing we had was a pack of Sour Patch kids I found in my purse... : ) Lastly, bring a watch and a flashlight. We had no idea how dark the trail would be since it was so bright outside, but under the cover of the trees it would have been helpful to have some light and to know what time it was!

I definitely recommend the hike however, we've already determined we're going to do it again. Just an hour away from the city and you're completely surrounded by trees. Just another reason I love it up here!

Mukilteo Church fire

2010-10-17T15:20:00.003-06:00

You may or may not have heard this on the news (I saw that KSL ran the story on Saturday night), but one of the church buildings in my Stake was set on fire early Saturday. Here's the full story, along with video - and check out my Stake President Lee about 1:30 minutes in! Woot!

http://www.kirotv.com/news/25412144/detail.html

I've heard of this happening before of course, but let me tell you, it is so different to actually experience it! On one of the news shows I saw, the newscaster ended their report by saying that "nobody was hurt". I know what they meant was that everyone is alive and well. But I think the word "hurt" is exactly what we all feel right now. The Harbour Pointe building was about 20 years old, and many of my ward members went there. It felt like a funeral today, with people talking about memories they had in the building, and how unbelievable it is to see that beautiful place reduced to a pile of smoky ash. It made me think of my own beloved Providence 2nd/3rd ward building and how devastating it would be to see that building hurt. It's just a building, and yet... so many fond memories there. Lifelong friendships created, hours and hours of dedicated service, testimonies and tears shared, and a lot of fun times all happen in a church building. It really is a personal place, second only to home.

Of course there is speculation on what the reason was for the fire, and there's always people talking about how everyone out there hates us, but I think President Lee said it best, "We'll rebuild, move forward, and we'll be okay." It really doesn't help to speculate or guess or blame, the important thing right now is to come together as a people. Yes the building is important, but no person was hurt, and we can still have good experiences come at a different building.

Buh-bye...

2010-10-14T10:16:00.006-06:00

It's been a crazy busy week with work and church, and honestly I haven't had a lot of time to think or to be alone. I need that time! However, there have been two thoughts that have stuck in my mind all week. They're random. Seriously, they aren't related in any way. But, what the heck, I'll share them anyway.

Okay, thought one: I used to make fun of a friend's brother for using his "business voice" when you'd call him at work. It was like you flipped a switch and he'd instantly go from normal speaking to professional car salesman. And then today I realized, I've got a business voice as well!

Only my voice is less car salesman, more Primary General Authority. I think that's going to make sense to some of you... The more agitated I become at the caller I'm talking with, the sweeter my voice is. And if I happen to end that call with buh-bye, instead of a normal civilized goodbye, well then... that person has ticked me off! I'm sure there's worse things than speaking sweetly when you're upset, but it was interesting to think about. I'm on the look-out now for other behavior modifications at work....

Thought two: I read this article about a project entitled "It Gets Better" that was developed for LGBT teenagers. In light of the recent suicides by several gay teens across the country, these two guys created a video where they shared encouraging thoughts and urged teens to hang in there. "It Gets Better" has a website where you can upload your own thoughts and encouragement, and there are now hundreds of these videos.

While I obviously don't have any words of wisdom for this particular demographic, I was thinking about how really all teens need this kind of advice. Don't we all need to know that things get better? However, when I was thinking about what I would say to kids in middle school and high school, I really thought about more than just waiting for things to improve. I think I would want them to find happiness now as well. Yes, definitely things get better. If you're having a hard time in school and feel like things will always be just as tough, then that's good advice. But I would also want them to know that there are good things happening NOW, and to not wait for high school graduation, or to get married, or start your career to find happiness. It's all around you, and it's up to you to create and find it.

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So those are my random thoughts for the week. I warned you they were scattered! Now get out there and be happy and use your business voice.

So....

2010-10-08T23:04:00.008-06:00

So.... September. Do you ever fall so far behind that to try and go back and catch up just exhausts you? So then you don't catch up, but keep falling further and further behind? That's how me and September blogging has gone. It was an insanely busy month, and flew by way too fast. However, there were some definite highlights that I'll share, before going forward from today.

First I had a fantastic visit from Jen:

We finally made it to the Tacoma Glass Museum! This has been on our to-do list since February of 2008. It didn't exactly live up to all our expectations, but was still a fun place to visit.

Most of our time was spent talking, eating, and shopping, so I don't have a lot of photos from that. We also got to spend a good 5 hours at the ER on Sunday due to a sick roommate. Let me just say that being stuck in a hospital, while still fasting, equals hilarity. We were both pretty loopy! The only pictures I have of this are from my phone, so the quality is crummy, but I've got one shot of me in front of the Behavioral Health Unit. This was September and they had this creepy pumpkin up in the window. I thought it was funny because of it being near the BHU (but like I said, we were starving. And bored.). Jen is doing her best Michael Scott impersonation and trying to stick her foot in the radiology unit while my friend was getting her x-rays done.

I so loved having Jen come visit! Why do friends have to move away?

Luckily, the next weekend I was able to visit my sister down in Albany, Oregon. Her roommate Trish and I had been planning this as a surprise visit for a while, and it was so much fun to come walking into her apartment! The look on her face was worth the 4 hour drive. I wish I had photo's to share from that weekend, but we mostly just played games and the Wii...

The next weekend Ethnie came back for a visit! Once again, we mostly just hung out together and talked and ate. No need to take pictures of that! However, the weather sort of cleared one day, so we went hiking up to Wallace Falls. Just a hike that I found online, but it was A-mazing. Not too difficult, completely enclosed in the woods, and a gorgeous waterfall waiting at the end.

And the picture that nearly stopped us from going on the hike:

Is that not the creepiest thing you've ever seen? We both felt like it wasn't the best selling point for a hike, and they had this picture right at the head of the trail! We were imagining bears at every corner, but I'm happy to report that we saw absolutely no wildlife. Unless you count the yippy dog on a leash, or the man RUNNING up the trail! (We get it, you're in shape....)

The last weekend of the month was spent at the General Relief Society meeting, where my ward was in charge of the Stake dinner. There was also a wedding in the ward that weekend, so it equalled me doing just about everything. Exhausting. But at least our ward is done for the next 6 years - and if I'm still in this ward in 6 years, please just kill me.

So that's my September! October is already flying by, so I better stay caught up on the haps. (I only write this blog for my mom anyway, and I'm pretty sure she doesn't check it anymore. )

The Dangers of Whittling

2010-08-31T08:58:00.004-06:00

How was your commute yesterday? Here's what happened a block away from my bus stop:

I was hoping they caught me on camera, trying to get to my bus stop! But maybe anonymity is a good thing in this case.

Oh, and for the record, my bus was one hour and fifteen minutes late.
Yeah.

Lisa Goes to Camp

2010-08-29T19:00:00.003-06:00

I got back from Camp Erin today; the third year in a row I've been lucky enough to volunteer. Camp Erin is a bereavement camp for kids held at various location across the nation and run entirely by volunteers for three days. The Camp Erin up here in the Seattle area is sponsored by my work (that's how I heard about it), and several of my co-workers are involved with it as well.

It's always hard to describe Camp to other people. As soon as you tell them you were at a bereavement camp for kids they usually say, "well that sounds.....(long pause)...fun?". And they're right, at first glance this doesn't exactly shout out laughter and good times. But for me, Camp Erin has been life changing. The camp is absolutely set up for the kids and we do everything possible to make sure that they have a good time, but everyone involved with Camp Erin is positively affected by this weekend. It's just impossible not to be, when you have such amazing stories and children surrounding you.

And yet... it's hard. Probably one of the hardest things I do all year. It's hard hearing about how these kids' loved one died. It's hard to think about the people in my life that have passed away and to rehash that grief over and over again. It's hard trying to keep five 6-year olds in line all weekend. It's even harder trying to get those kids to sleep! But maybe it's because it is so hard, that Camp is so rewarding.

This year was especially difficult as I took on a different role and stepped in to be a "big buddy" - essentially a camp counselor - to the six year old girls. In the past I've been helping out on the sidelines with the entertainment for the teen camp - so it was much more exhausting to be on tap 24 hours a day. And I mean literally 24 hours a day - we quickly found out that night time was usually the hardest!

But even now, when I'm at my most tired, I think back over the weekend and I realize just how much I've come to love those girls. I loved that they were so instantly affectionate and liked to hold hands, sit in laps, and have their hair played with. I loved that they couldn't remember our names and eventually just called me "teacher". I loved that they helped each other, talked so easily and quickly about their loved one, and weren't afraid to do almost anything. Their sweet faces will stay in my mind and heart for a long time.

So as I sit here thinking back over the past few days and whether or not I'd do this again, I know in an instance that I will. Because despite how utterly exhausted and emotionally drained I am right now, I know that what we do makes a difference. I know that kids need places like Camp Erin, and I need it too. I need a place that makes me think entirely of other people first and that helps me realign my priorities. Yep, a year from now, I'll be back.

To learn more, here you go:

My First Game!!

2010-08-19T21:02:00.008-06:00

I didn't realize how excited I was about this blog entry, til I went back and read it over and saw that nearly every sentence ended in an exclamation point! It made me laugh, so I went and added exclamation points to any that were missing it! Enjoy!
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My friend Jen got some amazing tickets for the Seahawks this past Saturday, and I got to go with her to the game! It was their season opener, still pre-season, but was my first NFL game so I didn't care! I was just excited to be there! Jen's co-worker does the make-up for the Seagals, so she gets amazing season tickets, but doesn't like football and gives all the tickets away! Most of the games are on Sunday so we were thrilled to find a game we could go to on a Saturday night!

Our seats were 14 rows from the field, directly behind the end zone and right next to some annoying drunk guys! They had accidentally sat in the wrong seats, so about halfway through the first quarter the real seat-owners came and kicked them out! They were drunk too though, so we didn't notice much of a difference!

The game was a lot of fun, and we were so close you could hear the players getting hit! Luckily, the Seahawks actually won, and we got to see a touchdown on our side of the field before we took off! Thanks Jen, let's do it again soon!

The Tao of Lode Runner

2010-08-16T13:52:00.004-06:00

I love playing computer games. I also enjoy video games and board games, but computer games is where my real love is at. If you ask my brother Mark, I have a bit of a problem and it all started with LodeRunner.

When I was a kid, computers were not quite as accessible as they are now. A half an hour a week at the school's computer lab (30 computers for an Entire School - does anyone else feel ancient?), plus a few stolen moments in the basement with our giant Apple 2E was all I got. And that was on a good week. We had the classic black screen and green lettering computer that could play several high tech games like Dig Dug, Lemonade Stand and The Oregon Trail.

But my real vice came in the form of an 150 level game called Lode Runner. I LOVED THIS GAME!!! If I could find it today, I'd probably still have a problem, since for me there is no off switch when I start playing. Most of my addiction came because I was trying to get the high score (so I could enter my name as a mature LISA HA HA MARK), but also because this was a fun game. I honestly credit this and other computer games for my amazing ten key skills today.

In case you're not familiar with the game (gasp!) let me explain a few things. The whole object of the game is to try and round up all the presents while avoiding the bad guys. You're armed with nothing but a gun that shoots holes in the ground, so the bad guys fall in and eventually get bricked into non-existence. You're flying through ladders, climbing across monkey bars, and blasting through bricks to escape the bad guys and capture the presents.

It starts out slowly enough, with just a few obstacles that with practice can be easily passed. Yes, they may trip me up the first time but with just a few practice runs they simply became a stepping stone to the next level. I fly through those early levels, gathering present after present and watching my score increase by leaps and bounds. However, as I get better and start advancing to higher levels, Lode Runner becomes increasingly harder. The obstacles become way more difficult, the speed increases, and the bad guys are everywhere! No longer the mindless stormtroopers that would simply fall in a hole and die, all of a sudden the baddies are crafty and it's much harder to avoid being caught.

With practice, I pass a level that I never thought possible, only to find an even harder one ahead of me! Aargh! Where is the rest level? Where is the ladder level that is packed with presents and lets me fly like the wind? And can't I just push the pause button and catch my breath for a while?

Not to wax too poetically, but I've begun to think of my life as a little Lode Runner-ish. If I were to relate this to life right now, I would say that I've recently passed the moving level, full of physically demanding obstacles. I wouldn't have passed it without assistance from other Lode Runners out there who showed up to help me move, but it also took a lot of practice (this is move #27 for me) and hard work to make it through. Hours spent planning and preparing and then actually working through the struggles. And then, finally, I've passed the level and it's on to the next.

So here I am, on the precipice of another level, an unknown level so far, and I'm a little anxious and excited to see what is next. Luckily I've had the practice of all those previous levels, so I can use the skills learned there to help me on my way. I no longer think of my life as just the one level and that as soon as I pass it there will be clear sailing ahead. I'm beginning to realize that there will always be something else ahead, that levels will overlap each other, and that there will forever be bad guys that get craftier, faster, and more abundant as I progress.

But unlike in Lode Runner, I am not alone in this 'game'. Besides having mad ten-key skills, I've also been blessed with the tools and the people to help me pass each level. It's hard sometimes! Sometimes I need a redo or another life to pass that level. But each level is also rewarding in it's own way, and I move on with a new set of lessons and skills and experience.

Level Up...

Dear Friend

2010-08-01T19:45:00.004-06:00

Dear Friend,
How are you? I've been thinking about you this week and wondering if you're all right. You asked about my week, so here goes!

I've been feeling really homesick lately, which sometimes I think is silly because I'm 30 years old and shouldn't be missing my mom and dad, but it's true. I do. I'm allowed to be homesick, aren't I? I think it's because I've had such a hard week, that I really just want to be somewhere comfortable. I want to watch my dad putter around on the tractor and walk down the lane with him smelling the sweet alfalfa. I'd like to talk with my mom and ask her to make me some chow mein and tell me that I'm pretty and talented. Somehow that always seems to help.

This week was such an awful one. Work was insane! I started a new position and I'm in that awful "I don't know what I'm doing yet" phase. The funny thing is that I really like change and am always trying to learn new things, but yet I hate not knowing the answers to people's questions and having to say "I don't know". It's quite a tricky balance. So all week long, I worked and worked and worked without lunches or breaks, and I came in early and stayed late, and yet I still feel like I'm behind on my stuff. And then, to top it all off, a co-worker came up to me and asked me a really tough question. I gave her the best answer that I could, to which she replied, "well that's not the way 'former coworker' used to do it". Um, not helping!

Also, I don't know if I told you or not, but I'm no longer going to take that apartment and live by myself. About a week after I put the money down on the one place, a friend from church asked if I'd be interested in finding an apartment with her. Soon another person from church joined in and so now I've got another place with two roommates! I'm sad to lose that $250 I put down on the first, but I figure I'll make that up in about a months rent with these two, so that's nice. The place we found is only for 6 months also, so I get to go through this whole process again at the first of the year! That definitely has its pluses and minuses.

Things have also been pretty busy with my church work. I was feeling bad lately about how little I've done in this area, so I'm trying to set some new goals and really dedicate myself to it whole-heartedly. It's tough! But I love the girls that I associate with, and I want to do so much to help them, so I hope that I'll be given the strength and the ability to assist in any way I can. I think a lot of what we can accomplish begins with good intentions, and I definitely have that.

One good thing that happened this week was I ran into Friend A at the bus stop. I love this friend! You know those friends that the more you hang out with them and get to know them, the more you want to spend time with them? It's like as soon as you see them and talk to them, you just want more! I tried explaining this to a co-worker of mine and she said that it sounds like I'm talking about drugs. I guess that works as a description for good friends as well. But honestly, Friend A is one of my favorite people in the world, and to see them at the bus stop of all places really made my entire week. I just can't stop smiling about it!

Well, I've talked your ear off and haven't let you say anything! Sorry about that. I really did need you this week, I've been so lonely. I know you're busy and have family and work and church things of your own, but if you could just drop a line and let me know you're thinking of me, I'd really appreciate it. I'll try to do the same as well.

Here's hoping for a better week!
With affection,

Lisa

Food, Glorious Food!

2010-07-23T23:21:00.001-06:00

Why I Love the Northwest: Reason 5 - Mobile trucks and foreign food

My experience with foreign food growing up was limited to taco night, and the occasional trip to Formosa Restaurant for Chinese food. In other words, we didn't branch out too far. Not that it's a bad thing, I still turn to those foods the majority of the time, I'm just saying that we kept things simple. I distinctly remember the first time I went to a Mexican restaurant - I was 18 years old.

Naturally, when I went to college I was faced with a lot more choices and began to branch out a lot more in my tastes. But that variety has exploded since I moved up here. Every type of food you can think of is here, and I've enjoyed sampling a few, like: Thai, Vietnamese, Cuban, Ethiopian, Hawaiian, Korean, Greek, Japanese, Mediterranean, Indian and many many more. I've loved getting to try these new flavors, especially with friends that challenge me to try something other than the chicken (my fall back). It's hard to go in to a new culture and know what to order! But I have to say that I've loved everything I tried, even the Japanese (don't order the mochi).

I know I've blogged about my love of Pho before, so I'll spare you the love letter on that. Suffice it to say, you need to try this. It's the Vietnamese version of chicken noodle soup (there's also a vegetarian version with tofu that's surprisingly good) and it's always insanely cheap. Like a gallon of soup for $3. Seriously! Plus the name lends itself well to being made fun of, so you end up eating at a restaurant called "Good Pho You!" or "Un Pho Gettable", which is just awesome.

Another food that I've really come to love is Mediterranean. One of my favorite restaurants is called Cafe Vios that has a butternut squash salad that is to die for. Their hummus and pita are wonderful as well, and pretty much everything else that I've ever tried there.

So besides all these delicious foods, another aspect that is really big up here is the mobile food truck. Once again, this has a completely different connotation at home than it does here. At home, it seemed a little sketchy to go to a food truck. It was mostly tacos anyway, and I never trusted that the place was clean enough to order food from. However, all the food trucks that I've visited up here are top-notch, delicious eats.

My absolute favorite is called Marination. A mixture of Korean and Hawaiian food, you can get a pork slider for only $2 - perfect! This food truck parks a block away from my work every Monday, or as I call it - Marination Monday. They have a small menu, with anything from a kimchi quesadilla to Spam musubi's. That's right, Spam. Delish!

Another food truck that I visit fairly often is called Skillet. It's an old airstream trailer, equipped with a full commercial kitchen that sells gourmet food. Again, you only have about five choices - but they're really delicious choices! I usually get the burger - which doesn't sound too adventurous, but it comes on a brioche bun, and loaded with arugala, cambozola cheese, as well as their famous bacon jam. They're also famous for their poutine, which may be the most unhealthy item I've ever seen in my entire life. It's pretty amazing though.

We also frequent the StreetTreats van, and the Thai Truck on occasion. I'm sure there are a million other mobile food units out there, just waiting to be discovered, but these are some of my favorites. It's for these reasons, and for so many more, that I named Seattle Food as my number five reason for loving and living in the Northwest.

With a Farm, Farm Here and a Farm, Farm there...

2010-07-22T22:24:00.002-06:00

Why I Love the Northwest: Reason 4 - The glorious Farmer's Market

When I wake up on Thursday morning, the first thing I think is "It's Market Day! It's Market Day!" Because I know that every Thursday from 3-7, there is a Farmer's Market next to my work, and it's always one of the highlights of my week.

Previous to living in Seattle, my experience with the Farmer's Market was two-fold. First, in the town where I grew up, the Market was a handful of hippies trying to sell their overpriced garlic bulbs and handmade clothing next to the students in the Master Gardeners program. I didn't know anyone that went to the Farmer's Market, except my gardening friends.

And secondly, my experience with the Market in Salt Lake. This was where my idea of Farmer's Markets really began to change. There is a large market in downtown Salt Lake every Saturday morning and I used to go with some friends and get fresh produce and excellent salsa. It was crowded, very large, and had loads of dogs and strollers.

The Farmer's Market in Seattle is completely different. Of course you have Pike's Place Market, which is really just a bloated local market. But no native Seattle-ite in their right mind goes down there during the summer. It's way too packed with tourists, parking is insane, and (let's be honest) it sort of smells like a bathroom. And really, there's no reason to make the trip with the number of markets that are going on in the smaller cities around Seattle. You see, each different neighborhood takes a different night of the week for their farmers market. Edmonds has Saturday, Ballards' is on Tuesday, Lake City is on Thursday, etc. Most of these even run year round, so any day of the week you can drive a short distance and get fresh produce and vegetables. Including my beloved Rainier cherries (see previous post).

Besides the availability of the markets, I also like the variety of things you can buy. At today's market, we had a crepe stand, two different bakeries, a person doing chair massages, an ice cream stand, homemade pasta, a beef and cheese seller, a nut shop, a bookstore, homemade honey, a garlic farm, a dessert truck, many florists, and of course the majority is different veggie and fruit stands.

However my absolute favorite thing about the Northwest Farmers Market scene is that we have one right next to my work. Every Thursday from 3-7 pm a handful of vendors put up their shop outside my door. So, every single Thursday from June to October, I take a break around 3:30 and go shopping. They give out free recyclable grocery bags, plenty of delicious samples, and usually live music. There's only a handful of vendors, but they've learned to recognize me and my co-workers by sight! And don't get me started on the cart that sells locally made ice cream like my favorite delicious pistachio ice cream bar dipped in chocolate. Whoa, mama.

It is because of that pistachio ice cream bar, as well as many other reasons, that I have named The Farmer's Market my next pick for why I love the Northwest.

Life is Just a Bowl of Cherries...

2010-07-21T20:52:00.005-06:00

Why I Love the Northwest: Reason 3 - Cherry, cherry

Is love of a fruit reason enough to live somewhere? I would probably have thought you were crazy if you said yes to this....until I met The Rainier Cherry.

I've never really been a fan of cherries. I liked them okay, but they would usually make my tummy rumble and I always wondered who needs cherries when there were strawberries around? UNTIL, I saw this:

Aren't they beautiful? The color is gorgeous, the taste even better, and man are they huge! I can usually only fit 3-4 cherries in my hand at a time. See:

They're sweet, but not too sweet. Have a lovely sort of crunch to them. And can you beat the color? I've never seen a worm in them (not that they aren't there, but they don't seem to plague Rainiers like they do the Bing), and are more consistent in their flavor.

I'm not the only one crazy about this deluxe fruit. Check out this article for more on what this cherry is about. You can tell that guy is a fan of the Rainier! Also, July 11th is National Rainier Cherry Day, so I hope you had an excellent party. Seriously, from the time these first start appearing in the stores in July until they fade out in August, I buy bag after bag. They're a little pricey, but so worth it. I've seen these in other stores outside of the Northwest, but they aren't nearly as big or as tasty. And for that reason, and because I love them, I've named them my number 3 reason I love living here.

Happy Trails to You...

2010-07-20T21:06:00.000-06:00

Why I love the Northwest: Reason 2 - Trails galore!

Squirrels dart in and out in front of me. The sunlight streams through the trees. And the sweet smell of bark and butterfly bush floats in the air. Welcome to one of my favorite places: the golf course trail.

I know that Seattle isn't as biker/pedestrian friendly as Portland, but it's still pretty great. At least people don't stare at you like you're a criminal when you walk, like they do in my hometown. There are lots of bike trails and lanes, as well as paths and trails for walkers scattered all over the place.

There are plenty of well-known trails: The Burke-Gilman. A 27 mile path that winds near Lake Washington and through several suburbs of Seattle. Or there's always the InterUrban Trail: a 15 mile paved trail mostly for bikers. Both of these are fine examples of just how well used the trails are up here. Every single day these trails are busy, full of dogs, people and bikes. But they can't compete with my favorite trail. It has no name. It's only a short 2.1 miles. And it's lovely.

My trail loops around a golf course, and cuts through the center of the Edmonds Community College campus. It was only a couple of blocks from the first apartment that I lived in up here, and I used to walk/run it at least once or twice a week. It's been harder to get there since I've moved, but now that the weather is nice again I've returned to visiting it once a week. I love this trail. It's mostly hidden from the traffic, except for a short stretch that borders 208th street, and the section that cuts through the college. On one side you've got the golf course, and the other you have... well, woods and people's backyards. The path isn't paved, just covered in wood chips, and it's mostly shaded with small sections of light filtering through.

I used to come here when I was trying to sort my thoughts out or needed to get out of the house. A lot of my Relief Society lessons and talks were written on this trail. Typically I don't even take any music with me, because I love how quiet and still it is. This is a great place to think. It is one of my favorite places in Seattle, and is number two on my list this week.

The Goldilocks Factor

2010-07-19T21:52:00.000-06:00

Why I Love the Northwest: Reason 1 - Not too hot, not too cold... but just right.

Our weathermen call it The Goldilocks Factor. I call it, Summer in Seattle.

Apart from the occasional hot streak (last August, anyone?), we have The Most Beautiful Summers in the World. Seriously. This isn't even a Northwest thing, it's actually a Seattle thing. Portland and most of Oregon (minus the coast) is way hotter than we are most of the time. Seattle is so unique in it's weather, and during the summer that's in a good way. Take this week for example. Mornings are overcast and 50 degrees. The clouds burn off by around 11, the sky turns a brilliant blue, there's a cool ocean breeze, and the temperature sits at a lovely 75. It's a nearly perfect combination, and we get it for almost three full months.

Now, I know what you're thinking. Come on, Lisa. For someone who claims to love the weather, you do an awful lot of complaining about the rain and the gray. And you're right, the majority of the time here we get rain and gray skies. But despite my whining, I actually love the rain. I love how it makes the air smell. I love how it soothes your mood and every day feels fresh and new. It's just that even my love of moisture is pushed to the limit by the end of spring.

Here's why: prior to it reaching 75 degrees on June 22nd, we had had 270 days of less than 70 degree weather. 270 days. In a row. This spring was one of the worst on record, with 17 straight days of rain in JUNE, and 21 days in a row in March. Our weathermen have this statistic measurement of just how dreary it is in winter, they call it The Winter Misery Index. This past spring measured in at number 10. So even though our summers are the most amazing thing ever, don't hate us. We deserve this.

All of that misery and gray gloom and doom is a distant memory once summer starts. This is why people live here. This is why we love it here. This is why the population in Seattle seems to double in the summer. Suddenly all these people are out and walking around, and you wonder where they were all winter! We spend every moment we can outside and revel in the loveliness of a 75 degree day in mid-July. It really is spectacular.

And that is what I will miss more than anything when I move away from Seattle.

Welcome to the Jungle...

2010-07-19T09:18:00.004-06:00

Well, I did it. I found an apartment. It's more money than I want to spend, and I'm living on my own, but I feel good about the place and it's nice to have that decision made. One positive thing has come from all this apartment hunting and looking around - it's given me a whole new appreciation for the Northwest. I love living here, and thinking about possibly moving to a new town always makes you appreciate more what you have.

When I finally do decide to move out of the Seattle area, I know there will be lots of things that I will miss. Mostly the people I've met, but also some very specific Seattle-y type things. So, in honor of summer and not having much to blog about right now, I thought it might be fun to share what exactly it is I love about living in the Northwest.

I hope it gives you a glance into what I consider one of the most beautiful places on earth, and also makes you want to come and visit. Please do! There are lots of things to love about Seattle, but I wanted to highlight a couple of things this week that are specifically MY favorites. Enjoy!

You say goodbye, and I say hello...

2010-07-07T15:53:00.003-06:00

To roommate or not to roommate, that is the question. I have spent the last couple of weeks trying to decide whether or not to live alone. I've gone through this before, the last time I decided to live by myself. I wasn't too worried about being a hermit because I had two great friends that I knew would pull me out of my apartment every once in a while and come visit me if necessary.

But eventually, I came to the realization that I may have to live by myself for the rest of my life, so as long as there is someone that wants to be my roommate, I should probably take that. I hear my mom's voice in my head saying "don't talk that way!", but let's face reality here. It's a possibility! Much as I hate it. Much as I can't even bear to think about it without bursting into a puddle of tears. This could be a reality. The older I get, the more real it's looking. So I decided that I'd like to have roommates again and I told my two best friends about this. They took the news really well - one of them moved to Utah.

Hmmm. So me and my other friend decided to room together anyway. Six lovely months have passed and I've thoroughly enjoyed having a roommate again. There's something so wonderful about having someone to tell all your mundane daily details to when you get home from work. Somebody that knows the names of your co-workers and manager. Somebody that cares if your bus is late and you're not home at a regular time. Somebody to say "welcome home!" when you walk in the door. It's nice! Aren't we supposed to live like this?

Just when I was thoroughly enjoying myself and my roommate situation, that one moved to Wisconsin.

I'm beginning to get a complex. Is it me? Am I chasing these people away? If I follow them around, will they keep moving on ahead in front of me? Should I just start buying cats now?

So I'm back to where I began. To roommate or not to roommate. And if I do roommate, how will this next one possibly compare to the Utopia that I've just come from? Where there were never any fights. Never a day that I wasn't excited to get home. Always a good feeling and a friendly face to greet me. Poor next roommate, how can she possibly compare?

Oh, and here's the problem with rooming with single people. They move around A LOT. They're constantly looking for the next thing, the next city that's sure to have all single guys in it, the job with more money, etc. Plus they have this frustrating tendency to get married. How annoying.

So do I bite the bullet and risk it again with another friend? Or do I go back to my solitary lifestyle? This is the question I'm mulling right now, and with an August 15th move-out date looming, I'm going to have to come up with an answer pretty quick.

Next time you're talking to yourself, tell yourself you're single and end the conversation.

2010-07-07T09:12:00.004-06:00

I've only lived alone for two days, and I've already noticed an interesting characteristic developing: I talk to myself.

Constantly.

When I come home at night, I call out "I'm home!", then chuckle to myself as if I were the cleverest person around, but I think if anyone actually ever answered me I'd have an accident.

I tell myself to go change into workout clothes, cause as soon as I sit down I won't want to get up again. Then I talk about how I don't want to workout, but I'm fat and need to. I reprimand myself to be nice and not say mean things, but that I'll feel better after I exercise. Plus, then I can eat. I cheer myself on as I exercise. I chastise myself for eating too much dinner. I tell myself to turn off the TV and read before bed. I yell at myself for reading too late at night and not going to sleep.

And on and on the dialogue goes....

Oh, and it's not just talking. I sing to myself. Crack jokes. Quote movies. I'm a regular vaudevillian entertainer and I make myself laugh.

And all this is after just two days. TWO DAYS. I may have a problem.

When you say nothing at all...

2010-07-05T20:45:00.002-06:00

I looked back over my past few blog entries and realized that I haven't said anything important in a long time. Nothing but fluff! So I've gone back and posted several entries on what I've been up to for the past month. They're not very interesting, but there's lots of pictures! Sorry about that, it's been a bittersweet couple of weeks.

Here's the long and short of it. First the bitter; my good friend and roommate Ethnie was promoted at work and transferred back to her hometown in Wisconsin. I could go on and on about this, but the main point is that this has been tough. Let's leave it at that. Anyway, she found out about it in the middle of April, so we decided to try and do as many things as possible before she had to leave. The end of that long sentence is the sweet. Finally doing all these things that I've been talking about for months was a lot of fun! We made an impossibly long list of places to visit in Washington and then just started crossing them off. In the space of a month we visited the San Juan Islands, Pike's Market, the Ballard Locks, Snoqualmie Falls, The Troll under the Bridge, Cupcake Royale, went on our ward campout, celebrated Eth's birthday, and drove across country to Ethnie's home in Wisconsin. Not too shabby! Especially for two girls whose favorite pasttime includes a remote, a blanket, and a midday nap.

So gear up, here comes Lisa's Whirlwind of a Month. All right, here we go!

Well, I like Wisconsin...

2010-07-05T20:42:00.012-06:00

I just got back tonight from driving back to Wisconsin with Ethnie. All her stuff was loaded into a moving van, so we hopped into her car Chili Bean and took off last Wednesday with nothing but a bunch of junk food, CD's, and our suitcases.

This was my first time taking I-90 across the US, and it was interesting to see how the scenery changed as we headed east. The one consistency was road construction. We kept running into it over and over again - aargh!

We drove 14 hours the first day, only stopping to gas up the car and switch drivers. It was exhausting. The next day began with a stop at Mount Rushmore, a place called Cosmos, and The Badlands before driving another 11 hours. The last day we had just 4 hours to go before arriving at Ethnie's house in Wisconsin. Here's a few of my favorite shots from our trip:

Okay, so that was more than just a few pictures - but it was too hard to edit them down! What a fun trip, now if only Ethnie had come home with me...

Seattle Day

2010-07-05T20:27:00.005-06:00

The last weekend Ethnie and I had in Seattle we spent doing some things that she hadn't had a chance to do yet. Basic stuff like visiting Pike's Market, the Ballard Locks and visiting a Cupcake shop. The weather even cooperated for once, so not every picture is me in a raincoat.

First up was the Market. Unfortunately, all the pictures from this is on Eth's camera so you'll just have to use your imagination. The only thing I managed to capture is actually pretty disgusting. There's this wall at the Market that is covered in chewing gum. It's cleverly referred to as The Gum Wall. Apparently, it is the second most diseased place in the world. The first being The Blarney Stone, which I have kissed. (!) Now if that doesn't make you feel a little sick...

After disinfecting our hands, we headed out to the Ballard Locks. I've been here several times, but it's always a good time. And this was the first time that I got to see a really huge ship go through the Locks.

Such a fun day! Sorry, no pictures from the Cupcake store. But trust me, they were delicious...

Are you Xtreme enough?

2010-07-05T20:19:00.003-06:00

I didn't take any photos at the Ward Campout, but despite the rain we had a great time. Luckily, this year we had a cabin to meet in, so most of the time was spent playing game after game. Anytime the weather cleared, we would run outside and try to burn some energy. My favorite game of the weekend was one a group of us made up. We called it X-TREME CROQUET! It's life-changing. Here's the picture that will go on the box:

Now tell me that doesn't look like a fun time? :)

Memorial Day

2010-07-05T19:58:00.004-06:00

Memorial Day weekend 2010. Rain, rain, rain. We sat around inside most of the day, watching movies, doing laundry and enjoying the day. By about 5 however, I was going stir crazy and was thrilled when the clouds parted and the sun peeked out. Ethnie and I grabbed our hiking shoes and cruised on over to Snoqualmie Falls. We'd tried before to visit the falls, but it didn't work out, so this has been on our list of things to do for a long time. It was great to finally get out there! Unfortunately, we drove so fast that we beat the sun there, but we did manage to catch a little light towards the end of the hike.